heartbreak

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Every single day…
Every single day… 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postI cannot begin to describe the energy it takes to pretend, every single day, that I don’t still miss you.

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Was it even real?
Was it even real? 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postSam,

I doubt you will ever read this but I need to say this for me as much as I need to say it to you.

In the one year we had together, I knew in the second month I was in trouble. You were like a breath of fresh air. You were unlike any guy I’ve ever been with; so confident, witty, just an all around attractive personality. It made up for the long distance between us. For me, I can honestly say I was head over heels, smitten, crazy in love with you. You were my first real love. I remember when you told me that you thought I was your soul mate, I cried of happiness for the very first time. I couldn’t believe I was so lucky to find you. But I was so blinded and naive that I never noticed how you were treating me.

When you didn’t call or text for days I made up excuses. When some chick answered your phone and you told me some crazy girl who liked you stole it, I believed you. It wasn’t until this random girl messaged me and asked me to stop calling HER boyfriend that something clicked for me. She told me she knew about me and that you guys talked about me. Told me stuff about me that I told you… That’s when I died.

Did you know I didn’t leave my apartment for days? I didn’t know I could cry that much for that long. I shouldn’t have answered your calls. Listening to you making excuses and saying she’s just a friend who has liked you… It just made me more sad because I didn’t know how dumb I was for that long. I’m glad I hadn’t booked my flight to come see you before finding out.

But you cried when I ended it, and that has haunted me. I’m sad still. I don’t know why but I still think about you, all these years later. You have ruined relationships for me as its not easy for me to trust, but I still long to feel how I felt when I was most happy with you.

But was it even real? I can’t even trust that anymore…

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There was never a day I regretted being with you
There was never a day I regretted being with you 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postHi,
It’s been almost a year since I’ve last heard from you. I guess, you’re still mad (well… I know you’re mad). I thought about it a lot. My mistakes had had a big toll on you and maybe you couldn’t just handle it. You did well. If I were to date myself I wouldn’t last for a week. I’m a wreck and very difficult to say the least. We were two broken people: I, who didn’t know how to love, and you, the one who didn’t love himself. We both had our fair share of flaws. You’re a gentle soul and you’ve been through a lot. I’m so sorry we didn’t work out. I’m sorry what we had was strong enough. I’m sorry you had to let go. I’m sorry I didn’t show you how much you meant to me. There’s no point on crying about it since it long gone. I’m sorry I broke your heart.
Maybe in the long run, you’ll forgive me. One day you’ll be able to set yourself free from anger.
I’ll wait for that day.
I hope you find hapiness and the love you try so hard to find. I hope you’ll start to love yourself a little more (the same amout of love you gave me) You were worth it and if it didn’t end I would’ve married you ;). You taught me how to love and I’ll always be grateful for that.
Even though we ended our relationship badly, never was there a day I regretted being with you.
I will never regret falling in love with you.
Your ex,
Aria

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The Anti-Valentine’s Day gift guide
The Anti-Valentine’s Day gift guide 800 800 Letter To My Ex

Nothing like Valentine’s Day rolling around when you’re mid-breakup, or in limbo with someone who is making you miserable. The trouble is, it’s not just one day. It’s all the lead-up, the smoochy cards in newsagents, the never-ending reminders that YOU ARE ALONE. Lucky there are shedloads of people on Etsy who have a good sense of humour.

  1. Anti Valentine’s Day cookies. From ‘bite me’ to ‘love stinks’, these are a tasty way to pass the most commercialised day of the year. Boil the kettle. $34 USD for 1 dozen.
  2. Anti-Valentine’s Day Sad Robot. Because nothing says ‘today sucks’ like a robot with a broken heart. $45 USD.
  3. Valentine’s Day Blah Blah Blah Drink t-shirt. Let’s fact it, if you plan to bar-hop your way through the pain, it’s crucial you dress appropriately. $24.95 USD.
  4. Let’s go throw things at stupid happy people card. Want to make a sad pal giggle on V Day? This card could be just the ticket. $4.38 USD.
  5. Anti Valentine’s Day Candy Heart Drink Stirrers. Cheeky and reusable, these are just the thing for your anti V Day party. $18, USD.
  6. Instant Download Anti-Valentine’s Day Colouring In Page. Bust out your Derwent pencils and get scribbling; it’s a stress-buster, a constructive way to kill time AND you end up with something pretty at the end of it. $2.50 USD
  7. Do Not Touch Me Pendant. Poor Cupid really cops it on V Day but damn, this pendant is hilarious. $19.95 USD.
  8. Cupid is a lying bastard card. Says it all, really. $4.50 USD.
  9. Love Hurts bandaid tattoo. So awesome, and not just for Valentine’s Day. $3 USD.

How will you be dealing with V Day this year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

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Break-up thoughts become art in Abandoned Love project
Break-up thoughts become art in Abandoned Love project 1280 855 Letter To My Ex

i felt secure with youIf you’re on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter you can’t escape all those happy, inspirational, sunshiny banners with quotes about love. And if you’re feeling a bit heartbroken and broken in general, it’s probably fair to say that such images can drive you batshit crazy.

That’s why I dig everything about this amazing Abandoned Love art series, by artist Peyton Fulford. She asked people to submit their most private thoughts to her Tumblr page and found that so many were about love. However, she wanted to get away from the happy, celebratory banners that are always posted and do something that was a bit more raw and realistic. “I decided to use only the phrases that focused on the relationship between love and melancholy,” she explained on her website.

I fuck up a lotFulford chose eight messages, creating banners of each one using card stock, spray paint and string. She then hung them on abandoned buildings around her hometown of Columbus, Georgia. The buildings, she felt, mirrored the sadness and distress in the quotes themselves, and that also led to the name of the series as a whole. It’s amazingly poignant – don’t you think? I love it. More on the whole series here.

Via Lost at E Minor

If you could hang a banner with a one-liner on it about your feelings right now, what would it say?

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the hardest thing is letting go
the hardest thing is letting go 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postI was 13 when i first met you, and i must be honest that at that moment, you weren’t exactly the apple of my eye. I was 15 when you first kissed me in the red hall, and that was more than enough for you to have me hooked. i crushed on you and i crushed on hard. fast forward to many years later, and you never left my mind. through failed relationships you were always on my mind. I am not a cheater, but you brought out the worse in me and every one i dated, i cheated on with you.

at 21 you came back into my life and you turned my world inside out. i don’t think you saw how much i fell in love with you. we turned 22, 23, 24 and you left me for another girl with the excuse that i was away at college and she was there all day everyday. you knew my situation and the only reason was to obtain that that i wanted the most. after fighting for your attention and trying to get you back, i became pregnant. contrary to popular belief, i did not do it on purpose. it was 100% accidental, but you making me get rid of my baby was not. it messed with me and four days after the abortion you left me again for the same girl.

fast forward a year later and you try to come back because you think im the one and you think you made a mistake. you strung me along for almost five months, ruined my birthday, and then left me again for the same girl. you failed to see how in love i was with you through out the years. I hope to outgrow this, and that i will grow strong from all this. congratulations on your engagement to the girl you left me for over and over. contrary to popular belief i don’t creep on you, people just have big mouths. your heartbreak has helped me grow, and i have faith that i will be something great. you will regret this and i hope one day you see me in all my success and glory. I still love you, and i don’t think i will ever stop, but i swear i will move on.

Sincerely,
The girl whose loved you since she was 15.

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the pain does not go
the pain does not go 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postThe pain does not go. It just does not go. I would not want to be back with you, and yet the pain is still there. I can t trust any guy anymore. I have been breaking off each relationship I started. I wonder why you did this. You said you loved me, so why did you do this? There are days where I think about the happiness I felt when I was offered a permanent job here. If I had known what you did, I would not be here today. You let me make life choices without telling me the truth about you. I just dont know why you lied so much to me.

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The no-fail strategy to fix a broken heart
The no-fail strategy to fix a broken heart 1200 800 Letter To My Ex

Every deals with a break-up differently. Some bonk other people. Others eat their way through the ice cream fridge at the supermarket. Your strategy may be to hole up at home, wearing your duvet like a coat and watching Deadwood re-runs 24/7. But, there’s one strategy that I think can be a shortcut to feeling better. What is this incredible cure, you ask? The one tactic guaranteed to help you reshape your life around the ex-shaped hole in your heart? Well, it’s this: travel.

Don’t yell at me and tell me to go away and leave you to your boxset marathon. I’m serious. Sure, it may take a little effort on your part (you can’t take your duvet on a plane, so you may need to do some packing), but here’s why it’s the best idea since Boyfriend In A Box was invented.

It’s all new, new, new. New places. New people. New faces. A looooong way from your current sad, tear-stained, memory-filled environment. Don’t tell me you actually want to hang around in your sad, tear-stained, memory-filled environment? Of course you don’t. You need to get out of there, stat.

You can’t cry on a bus in Tibet. Well, okay, you can, but it’s hard to stay devoted to your round-the-clock weeping routine when you’re in the presence of curious locals. Or looking at a beautiful sunset in Cambodia. Or sharing a train with chickens and farmers who think nothing of hoiking out the windows.

Travel is the best kind of therapy. A totally different kind of therapy from sitting on a psychologist’s couch. It teaches you things about yourself – even when you don’t expect it – and it’s a great distraction. You can’t help but be amazed by the beautiful places you’re seeing, the people you’re meeting. You feel inspired to try stuff you might not have previously. Or do things that scare you, be it bunji jumping in New Zealand or kissing that cute blogger with the dreadlocks staying in your hostel in Bolivia.

It’s a guaranteed reboot. Away from home, you can’t help but get a new perspective (especially if you’re seeing how the other half live, and it’s nothing like how you live). You’re also sure to have some fun. Even if you’re convinced that you’ll never have fun again, fun is out there to be had in our big wide world.

Anything goes. Think outside the box and do something that’s really out of your comfort zone. Saddle up on a horseback adventure. Book in for a long weekend at a day spa. Grab a cheap Air B’n’B room in a busy nearby city and play tourist for a weekend. Join a singles group for a ski trip. Book a shark dive. Go wine tasting. Google the best hostels in your area and have a budget getaway. If you’ve got kids, take them for a weekend at a fun park or a water park where the only goal is to go on every single attraction.

Have you used to travel to heal a broken heart? Where did you go?

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You Kinda Gave Me A Permanent Mark
You Kinda Gave Me A Permanent Mark 150 150 Letter To My Ex

LTME postHey A…
Its been months we don’t even talk. We used to talk about everything, but right now we didn’t talk at all. I still remember the last we broke up, you sent me that long text saying that you still want to make friend with me, saying that you will always there to hear my story about life and anything. Saying that you’re sorry for hurting me. Saying that if we’re really made for each others, we will always have our way back into love again. Saying that you’re sorry for wasting my time. Saying that you love me enough to let me go. I felt so hurtful. I built everything, every dreams, with you by my side. How can I even picture someone else replacing your spot? How does it feel for you now? Cause its me, it still doesn’t fade even a bit. Just like a permanent mark. What you said. What you did. What we dreamed. What we planned. What we promised. It’s still crystal clear in my mind. I can’t even help my own self. I know this is destructive. But I don’t know what to do anymore. I need something to look forward to, just like what you used to gave me. I miss you like hell. Can’t even type, my tears are filling my eyes…

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The things you just never knew… or cared to care for…
The things you just never knew… or cared to care for… 150 150 Letter To My Ex

Dear “you know who you are”

I don’t even know why I’m writing this… maybe because even after 4 years separated, you still have a hold on my heart. But you broke it, so so badly… you hurt it so so bad. And at best, you just never knew, even with the fighting, the arguing, you just never took account for your actions, your time and the lies.

We have 2 full on but amazing boys together, who are our world. And whilst we share care, we have somehow still managed to bring them up fairly well, with limited upheaval. For that I am grateful and at best, it has shown me you have been able to put someone else first.

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