I loved you more than anything. I loved every new you, when the bipolar changed your personality. I did everything to make you happy, you were sad when I found you and when you got sad again you blamed it on me and not your disorder. I would have died for you, still would.

You could have walked away you could have talked to me you could have done anything other than calling the cops and getting a restraining order. I know you were scared you were caught cheating that would scare anyone. But you know I would never hurt you. I could not stand to see you cry, much less ever hurt you.

Why do I have to feel guilty, you cheated you lied, you left, why do I feel guilty. I never cheated I had my chances, but I never took them. I am tired of wanting you back I am tired of feeling guilty. I am just tired of everything.

I date, I fuck, I treat them well, but I can’t love them. I hope you have not ruined that forever.