Manav…

Where do I start? I actually anticipated us not working out…and it’s not that that even hurts me. We’re too far from each other, and long-distance is hard because there are expectations you have of the other person, and the person themself is not there. But that we’d end this way – that you’d just drop me like a hot potato and walk on…I never dreamed of it even. If the love wasn’t there anymore, all you had to do was tell me…you just threw away the connection we had as friends, as if I meant nothing to you. As if I had never existed in your life.

You said you’d call, and clear up that we were actually on a break and not at the point of breaking-up.  You never did…even when asked why, you didn’t give a shit about how it made me feel – I hadn’t heard from you in 3 weeks and all I had was a fucking FB status to tell me that we were in a relationship, and that was little if any reassurance at the time. Was it because I didn’t trust you enough? You knew where I came from…how my past relationships hurt – why couldn’t you just talk to me and tell me what was going on in your head. It would’ve made things easier…I could’ve put things into perspective. But I got nothing – no explanation, no sorry, not even a reaction when I removed my relationship status after not hearing from you…

I hate you for hurting me so much in so little time…I didn’t want to lose you as a friend, and that is exactly what happened. But that means nothing to you…and that hurts even more because it makes me doubt the genuinity of our connection and all the times that we spent together on Marine Drive, chatting until the early hours of the morning. People said you were a player…but I saw a good person in you…and now I doubt my judgment because only someone like that is capable of being so cold. I still love you…even though I’m pushing myself to move on, there’s some part of me that hopes you’ll realise you screwed up and come back to me.

I miss you…