Dear Asshole,

Nothing more beautiful than seeing you kiss your new girl with the same mouth you ate it with. Hey, can you ask her how I taste? Well, you were a no good, lying, cheater. I’m very lucky to be away from you. How dare you cheat on me for our entire relationship. How dare you lie to me when I asked who she was, you always said “she’s nobody”. Now you date her… Well you were right. She is a nobody and she is irrelevant.

You are the most inconsiderate dick I have ever met and when she’s been around you, she acts like a cunt. To the new girl, those hands that he’s had on you have been on me, that tongue (self explanatory). I hope you thoroughly enjoy my sloppy seconds. I have a little bit left of this cookie… Do you want that too? He’s a liar and you’re a home wrecking bitch. I hope he does the same thing to you that he did to me, and he will. Don’t you ever say I didn’t warn you. Have a nice life to the pussy bitch that was my ex! Oh, and the sex was never that good (10 seconds)… Hah! Swerve bitch!