So…….I stopped by your house yesterday to talk after 3 weeks of no contact. You came out of your house and we talked in my car. You looked tired and drained your mothers health has kept you running to the hospital. But there was something more in your eyes. You told me you still loved me but I could tell something was still bothering you. We talked for hours I told you to communicate with me don’t just stop talking to me. I held you in my arms while you cried you even fell asleep in my arms. We kissed each other hard, I reached my hand down your pants and pulled them off and went down on you. I could tell you need some physical attention it felt good to please you once again.

You came over and over again and you told me how good I was at Cunnilingus and how you missed how I made love to you. We discussed how we could start over, go on dates spend time together. Get back to texting and calling each other constantly like we did before we broke up. You wanted to take it slow. (first indication something was up) Earlier in our conversation you said that you needed time to be alone for awhile, (I thought how high school that comment was) by the end of the day you wanted to see me. You told me how much you loved me and missed me. We both cried in each others arms. We had a nice lunch like the old days. You even got turned on and went down on me. It was very sexy. Our bodies so missed each other and we didn’t miss a beat. We made do in the car. I looked forward to the day when we could be in bed together. We talked about so much. I told you to keep the money I sent you for Xmas, to spend it on our kids. Even when you tried to give back to me and said you couldn’t take it. I insisted you keep it. I begged you to make sure after I left you yesterday to make sure we keep on communicating. Even though I felt good that we had a good day and I hope for the future, I could still tell something didn’t seem right. When I got home from our day of trying to repair our relationship, you kept texting me as promised. I was happy. I had hope……

So……after we stopped texting last night and you signed off saying you were going to bed…at 10:30PM (Hmmm not like you, you usually go to bed later.) So this morning I send you a “Good Morning” test then….nothing….So I asked you to go to breakfast as I would be able to see you until the holidays were over. Again….nothing….then a text from you that said a very cold “No thanks”. Wow WTF??? Then you lowered the boom on me. You did not want to continue our relationship. We could text and talk occasionaly and we could be friends. WTF??? Friends?! Are we in high school??? It took me while of grilling you via text to admit that yes there was someone else in your life. You said someone you were “talking to” Yea right I’m sure this guy goes back to the root of you breaking up with me. So I caught you in a lie. What did I expect I’m sure you have lied many times to me. But my question for you is…what happened yesterday??? If you were committed to this guy already then why talk all day with me and even have sex with me? (I’m sure your new BF didn’t know that huh?) Or did you make a snap decision last night or this morning. All of a sudden everything you said to me was meaningless today. You took me off FB as a friend today. You hadn’t done that since we were broken up. You also told me that my female coworker reached out to you a few weeks to see how you were doing as you know I told her our story. You told me you didn’t know why she contacting you and she asked you to go to lunch to discuss our relationship. Truth was “you” asked her to lunch. She confirmed the story and even said you were “crazy”. Another lie. You told her how much you appreciated you contacting her, another lie. Just how many lies have you told??? Well I guess it wont be long before you cheat and lie on your new guy. I guess we are really and truly finally over for good. I can’t see a way we could ever be together. You made your choice and then proceeded to treat me like crap today. You didn’t need me anymore.

We clicked yesterday like old times, you are really picking some new guy over me when we had years together and you swore I was your best friend and lover? It was that easy? I guess your new guy will find out that your low self esteem issues will cause you to lie and cheat on him too. Your ex husband has no clue what you were up to when you were married. Maybe I should have realized that it would have been a matter of time before I gave up my life to be with you and you cheated on me. Still I had faith in you, I thought we could make it work and that if you had the right man you could be content. I was determined to be that man. I chased you for years when you lost faith I hung in there because I believed in us. It’d been years that we did this dance to think its really over for good this time is still tough to swallow even though I know how I have been treated. I guess that the curse of being in love. I will miss our conversations, our texts, our sex life (for the record you were the best ever in bed) our bodies clicked form the start, I gave you confidence I let you explore your many fetishes, I don’t know too many men that will be as open as I was with you sexually. I let you be you something that was important to you. I will sit here brokenhearted from the 4th time in our relationship over the years, I do take responsibility for not moving sooner to be with you and move in, but I was scared and you were right to move on, but you should have given more of heads up. And now I doubt that was even true that you wanted to move forward and move in, I think you were trying to decide whether you wanted to be with this new guy or me. But since you weren’t honest from the beginning there was know way for me to know what you were going to do. For that I blame you. I am sad and it will take many months or years to get over you.

You will be happy you made your decision and will be excited to experience the thrill of a new love in your life. I will be the one that will be pining away for a long time. I still can’t believe how cold you were today. I can hope it was because you felt guilty about what you were doing. I can’t hep thinking that you and this rebound guy won’t last. I think I figured out who it is from your FB page, and If I’m right i bet that guy will be cheating on you as well. Just looks the type. One day maybe you will wake up and realize what I gave you. You had little experience with relationships as you married your child hood sweet heart. And then divorced him. You will never know that what you had in me until some guy dumps you and will yearn for someone like me that stayed true to you. I love you sadly enough, I don’t what to do now, but I hope you are happy but I also hope you wake up one day and realize what you lost.