huss,

You were good at being bad. So good, in fact, that you fooled me well.

You had me believing that you loved me so much, so I married you and had your daughter.

The day she was born was one of the happiest days of my life – however it was also the end of us…

That ice made you as cold as ice. I was in shock at first, God knows I held on, you cheated on me with so many and still I remained faithful to you. My love was true…

Six years we have spent together, I believe that someone always loves more. I also believe that you never loved me you are just a trickster.

Today, like so many other times, you walked out of the door and then told me in a text that you hate me and you hate your life with me. All the other times I have cried and found it very hard to deal with the fact that you are leaving me and mostly our daughter behind…

However sitting here for the first time I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel a sense of freedom, as though the rest of my life is about to being. I am excited for the first time in a long time. I feel okay with the fact that you say you hate me. You have abused me for years, left me and your daughter behind for ice and girls that satisfy you for a brief moment.

I do believe you have forgotten one very important thing. Up until this moment in time you have had me as a constant, no matter what you put me through – I was there, you had my heart, and all my love.

What will you do the next time you fall… and you turn and don’t find me.

I have lived enough to know it’s not enough to have moments of happiness. You need endless moments of happiness to make it count. It may seem that trading your daughter and wife for your true love – ice – for one moment of happiness is a small price for you to pay because the moment is all that matters to you.

That’s not enough for me.

I let you go. I wish you well. I hope you have made the right choice. The path is yours to walk but I can’t and won’t be on the same path any longer.

I am scared that you will turn around on your journey to find me and you won’t see me. That you have still so far to fall. I never wanted to let you go. I believe you need me more than you will ever admit. Oh that ice. It has frozen you…

What will you do when you turn and I am gone? Remember, you left us behind. I now have no choice but to move on, raise your daughter. I feel free.

I can’t save you and your insanity has brought me to my knees.

I am now taking a step. I am standing, not alone. I was most alone when you were around. Now I stand tall, and feel good about tomorrow. I love you, but for you my love was not enough. I am okay with that now. Oh that ice, I can’t compete, you left…

I am okay with that now.

Thank you for going. I respect that you finally did something right. You set me free and there will be no coming back. No more mirrors, no more tricks…

Be safe and don’t look back.