Katie Jo,

Yep, used it…I’m going to write this with my sorry’s even though I still need to hear your’s so bad…..

I’m so sorry you had to try and go through a dark time with me when you were so young, innocent and had no way of understanding or knowing what to do. I’m sorry I expected you to. I’m sorry that I brushed you off like a fool. I’m sorry I made you cry and feel alone. I’m sorry I couldn’t get over it sooner but these things don’t happen just because one might want them to. I’m sorry for the avenues that I took to dull the pain…I’m sorry for not getting into bed with you and pulling you close instead. I’m sorry for reacting to your anger with anger. I’m sorry for not defusing the situation instead of making it worse. I love you. I’m sorry for the way I said things to you when it was finished. I am doing ok but not great.

I want and miss you so much but looking back, it just went on too long. My heart needs adventure and a little danger….I don’t think you’ve found your’s yet. I think you almost did with me but when the chips were down and I needed you as a friend more than a lover your heart drifted and I want you to know that I understand that. I am still angry about the money and your refusal to communicate about it and the way you moved so quick….but I think I understand. I held you on such a high pedastal even when things were bad. I talked about you with pride to everyone….because I love you. Good or bad I love you. Maybe that’s where the distance divides us.

I remember meeting you at the airport and kissing you at Gate B. I remember the drives with non stop talking at eating at that pizza joint off of 275. I remember the Blind Melon videos, playing guitar and holding you so close that it scared me and comforted me at the same time. I sooooo remember making love to you while driving down a country road….going home and doing it again. I remember talking to you everyday on the phone when you were still in Florida. You were usually on your bike. What happened Katie Jo? How are we so far apart now? I remember the day you missed your flight by a day and we rode back home….and guess what….yep.

Things went bad for me and I needed you. I’m sorry I pushed you away….but like I said, this is my letter of being sorry. I don’t think we can ever repair what we’ve done but I wish we could. It’s been a few months after a few years together and my heart still belongs to you. I will eventually move on in my own way but as it is now I want nothing more than to hear your voice, see your face and feel your touch. I wish we could’ve overcome the outside forces that split us like freezing water through a rock. I know you’ll never see this but if you do…I love you…I’m sorry…I miss you…and things are a littled emptier without you. Dancing around the family room to loud music isn’t the same without you pressed to me. I love you Katie Jo.