Dear Mathew:

My biopsy finally came back normal. But you left me during my illness and didn’t follow up when I called to talk about my health. You are a coward. You are a sick coward. And no matter who you date in the future, you will always be a sick coward.

In the beginning, things will seem lovely. This person won’t know a thing about what you’ve done in the past, because you’ll be your usual deceptive self. You will be the “good guy,” the one who she thinks she’s been looking for. But then, things will get complex. She will start to have problems in her life, and it will be too much for you. Or you’ll be the one with problems, and it’ll be too much for you. At that point you’ll withdraw into your hard turtle shell and refuse to talk about a thing. Because you don’t need any comfort. And life is just too hard. In your world, everything makes you too anxious. Especially another imperfect human being.

You are a liar. You are an abuser. And yes, I am way out of your league. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am smart. I am way too good for someone like you. I will find someone who gives me the best and doesn’t leave me when I am sick. Someone who doesn’t have shady interactions with his coworkers, who doesn’t have anger management issues, someone who doesn’t throw temper tantrums like they’re 2, someone who knows the meaning of morality, someone who knows how to plan romantic things, someone who doesn’t rub it in your face when they get you something, someone who actually gives a shit.

I am going to go on and live a healthy, happy life without you. I am going to be someone’s beautiful bride. I am going to have gorgeous kids. And yeah, I am going to have that wonderful career, and I am going to spoil my family. I am glad you spent so much money on me, love, because you’ll never get the favor returned now.

You?

One day, darling, you will also be abandoned while you need someone the most. I might not get to see it. But I know it will happen. What comes around goes around, babe. I think it’s too soon to wish you well.

All I know is that I wish myself well. My life is better without you in it.