Curiosity killed the cat. I’m always curious to see how you’re doing after all the pain you put me through. I put on a front like I don’t miss you and I try my best to stay away from your social networks but curiosity always win. Today I saw a picture of you smiling with your girlfriend.You look happy. I’m happy for you and her. Truly I wish you nothing but the best. Even though I try to forget you it’s very hard. Memories. I’m not going to lie a little part of me is sad because that should’ve been me standing right next to you .But what I’ve realized is that we were never meant to be together. I probably won’t get an apology for the things you did but at this point I don’t even need an apology. Karma.

Let’s start from the beginning. Everything was good at first.You made me feel special. I had my doubts about you but as we started talking more and more those doubts went away. You wanted a lot in life and I admired that. At that time things were stressful for you and I always told you to stay positive. If you needed something I gave it to you.Feelings started and I’m not going to lie I started to fall for you.Everything was still going good we had disagreements but you assured me we were more than friends. A few months in you started changing. The good morning and good nights texts stop coming in.You started distancing yourself I should’ve have known there was anyone else but I was naivee.I will never forget the day you said those words to me “we can stopped talking now or later either way I don’t care I’m heading into an relationship soon”. Just like that without a care in the world .That day I made the decision to end things and I wished you and your girlfriend the best. I was heartbroken and baffled. There were a lot of unanswered questions. Then out of the blue I got a random text from you and you asked me if we could talk again. I said no I to you let it be.You came backed again and I told you no again. The third time you came back I guess you had a vengeance for me.You called me names and said the most hurtful things to me.You weren’t the same person as before you showed me a different side of you.

You know what’s crazy? After we stopped talking you moved on with someone else.You and her were madly in love. I on the other hand was heartbroken, left in shambles, and I had to put my life back together. What’s even crazier is that you knew you were hurting me but you didn’t even care. You treated me like nothing. Heartless. Every time you came back you hurt me even more. How could you be so cold? I guess the reason why you were so heartless was because you’ve been hurt before. But my thing is if you know how heartbreak feels why you would put someone else through it. I was nothing but nice to you.I was there for you through stressful times and not once you thought about that.You lead me on and you took advantage of me. The fucked up thing is you were talking to me and that girl at the same time.You didn’t even have the decency to give me a heads up.

Thank you for putting me through all of this. Because of you I can never trust or give someone my all again. Because of you I know my worth. I deserve better. The last five months I had a lot of time to think about this situation and I noticed that I made a lot of mistakes. I was wrong for a lot of things but you on the other hand didn’t own up to any of your mistakes. It just showed me you didn’t care all along. I’m thankful you showed me your true colors. This whole ordeal has made me stronger and wiser. I’m not naïve anymore and I’ve learned to always put myself first, be patient, and don’t let anyone take advantage of me. The first cut is the deepest. Pain. In life everyone gets heartbroken but with each heartbreak growth and maturity comes along. Time heals everything and now I can finally say I’ve moved on to bigger things in life and I’ve have a bright future ahead of me.I’m about to turn 20 in less than a month and I’m content with things. I want you to know that I don’t hate you and I wish you the best with your future endeavors. I hope you change and have a heart for once. Just think about how words can affect someone emotionally and mentally. I want you to know that you lost out on a good girl. Lastly I wish you nothing but the best.

-SD 12/21/13