Hey sweetie… Please don’t forget me.

That may sound somewhat desperate and needy, perhaps in the final moments of our relationship I did become quite clingy, the fear that the drugs were taking you from me, they made you angrier, different, it was scary. I honestly just never wanted to lose you, and now I have. It’s been…nearly four months since you sent that text, the break up text, it didn’t quite sink in at first, but I knew my life had been torn apart.

The simple fact is I love you, I honestly have done since we met, the memories we have in the too short time we had together are forever held in my heart, the first kiss by the stream as we sat on the grass, falling asleep that same night holding your hand, the TV in your room always on, watching random stuff together until you fell asleep in my arms, I’d kiss your forehead hold you tighter when you slept, it all felt like a dream, the best dream I could hope for. And it was actually real…

I hope I treated you with all the love I had, because I certainly loved you with all my heart, the relationship was never perfect, hell it started with you lying to me, the lie was something that would probably have been the sign for most guys to walk away, but I saw through it all I had the most amazing girl in the world, everything about you, beautiful inside and out, like someone had crafted the most amazing girl for me. Your eyes, beyond adorable, I could look in to them all day, your laughter heart warming and your hand a perfect fit in mine. I can’t quite believe you’ve gone, because you were my everything.

I’m writing this now as I ride the last train home, will you ever read this? Most likely no, if anything, this is closure for me in the hopes that for one night, I can sleep and not dream of you… not to forget you, because that would be impossible, but so I don’t have to wake up and yet again cuddle my bed sheets in the moment of confusion when I wake up and think it’s you, it all sounds pretty sad doesn’t it? I suppose so. I am a guy after all, maybe I should be like most and just move on past it like I don’t care, but hey, I’m not strong at all. Every poem I wrote, every gift I gave and every time I told you I loved you, everything was true, I panicked and was scared when drugs came around and I hope you forgive me for my panic moments where I’d leave sooner than expected and head home, it was only due to my fear of drugs.

I’m scared for you and don’t want you to go down that path, you know I still think of you, constantly, because quite simply. You’re perfect to me, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you in someway, and my fear you’ll forget me has been tormenting me since you broke up with me… I’m the weak one I know, since, well… you moved on.

I’m sorry your new boyfriend cheated on you so suddenly, I’m sorry you might feel alone at times, I know the feeling of loneliness, I only ask one thing, and the fact you’ll probably never see this probably doesn’t matter, maybe nothing does, It’s painfully obvious from the last time you text me that I’m scared, scared that I didn’t matter, that in your life I was just an obstacle in the way, someone you thought was meaningful but turned out to not be. Because in my life, you were a path of happiness and love, you took me off the dark path of sadness and loneliness for a while and I’m heartbroken the path has led back to where I started, the famous square one where so many of us feel trapped.

You’re always in my heart my princess, all the time, and honestly, you always will be.

Goodbye sweetie… Please don’t forget me.

<3