I have been doing some thinking in the past week after our break up. I just want you to know that I still respect your decision and I don’t hate you for making the call before things get serious between us…

There’s just something I wanted to say to you but didn’t get a chance before our last call. I know you said that you wanted to end the relationship because the whole long distance thing is not working for you. Although I understand that might be a big part of your decision, I also had a feeling that there was other factor that comes into play.

I notice that at our last outing you became very quiet on your way to the train station. I thought you were coming down with a cold and probably tired. Now that I look back there was probably something else that’s bothering you.

To be honest I was feeling a bit strange on our last date as well. At first my initial intention to have you stay over 2 nights in a row was to catch up on the time that we are apart and that you don’t have to stress going on many hours of train ride on the same day. What I didn’t realize is that we probably spent a bit too much time together and I might have smothered you for the whole weekend. It was also a bit “too much too soon” since it’s only our 3rd date. That truly was not my intention and under normal circumstances (when I was dating people who live in town) I would never invite them over to spent the night with me or ask them to spent the entire weekend with me. I understand that we are grown adults and I have always respect my boyfriend’s personal space. I know you might feel trapped and felt like you might have to do this every single weekend as we can’t spent any weeknights together…which I totally understand and I felt torn about this dilemma as well. To be honest after thinking over the scenario hundreds of time, if there were even one possible solution to make this work I would flew to see you in a heart beat. I just know in my heart that there really isn’t an easy fix to our distance issue and this will be an ongoing challenge if we decided to stay together. Sometimes love really doesn’t concures all when it comes to reality.

I also realize that maybe there was a bit too much traveling for you than you intended. Again I really wish that we could have an honest conversation of what you prefer as we just started dating and I am still trying to get to know you. I think that open and honest communication definitely helps to resolve some of the frustration you might have and I have no clue to it. I can certainly understand how some of this arrangement might not be satisfying to you but that was also not how I usually handle things. I just wish that we could have a candid conversation about our feelings before you made the decision to end things.

This is my first long distance relationship and I quickly realize this whole relationship pacing and logistic planning are much more challenging than I know how to handle. That’s why when you mention the break up, even though I really like you and it was painful to see us coming to an end, I understand where you are coming from.

I am writing this letter to you not because I want us to reconcile our relationship. Like I said, even though I like you a lot and I feel the potential and chemistry we have, I know that just simply the distance alone does not allow us to built a solid relationship foundation. I don’t think I would ever try on another long distance relationship again simply for this very reason. I would really prefer to slowly get to know a person and take slower pace on dates. It was unfortunate that it can’t be with you as I can see we can do well if you are in the same town with me.

I am still trying to recover and heal my wound as I have a lot of hope for us and there are a lot of qualities about you that I like. I will always remember you and our time together, even though it was short. I hope we both learned something through this relationship and will bring positive influence to the next relationship.

I sincerely hope you and I can both find our significant others and don’t have to go through this kind of struggle. I know you are usually very upbeat and happy and I wish you can always stay like that.