Dear R~

I don’t hate you .

Hopefully this message will seek you,

somehow, somewhere you would  probably look up this site and see this note.

and if somebody else does, well. just know I have the hardest time explaining my feelings

and this is the only way i cant cope it without crying every night suffering on this painful feelings.

I dont care what your friends say about me whom I am to them but to me you was very important.

It hurt not seeing your or hearing you from that day at times I would’ve dreams about you.

every little thing i do remind me of you, my heart sink harder then before it just  feel like another stab to it whenever i take a step forward.

i wish you was still here sometimes, i wish you listen to me   i wish you understand how i feel when i couldnt speak them words back to defend myself when your friends was bashing me.

i didnt want to hurt you that was the last thing on my mind however  we both hurt each other in the mix of events. each battle we had we grew apart it the worst sicken feeling in the world.

One day you’ll see this I hope , Hopefully you know it’s me.

I cant really say much to exposed my self, since i moved on to somebody else , like you’ve.

but i still coping with these feelings I hate myself for it.  I miss my bestfriend.:/

I miss you being there, i miss our arguements i miss you yelling i miss everything about you i miss you so much i want you back  but you hurt me  . you took away my spirit  and punish my pride. i cant even think about myself anymore, i m so fed up with life…i fed up with myself i hate it cause that  not me.you think everything isi okay im hurting.. every inch of mybody is sore.

i cant even open up , i cant speak.all i can do is smile and be like”everything is okay”.

i help each and all of your friends.. i help you more cause you was that important to me.

i wished i did visit you,  i wish  alot of things could had change for the better for us.

the funny thing is i can helped another but i cant help myself i just a terrible soul.

even though you hate me for loving you,

i still love you no matter what friend or just a stupid  shadow that was something.

my feelings didn’t change, i hoping you can come back as friends or whatever.

i still cared about you i hope you get what you deserve( good) .

no matter what , you’re my best friend. despite whatever you throw at me .I’ll keep my word. Im sorry it had to end this way, we separated . now we just enemies  ..

L.~chi.