Who are you?

Its been a constant battle of just asking for an apology or just seeing how long i could go without you realising how much you were mean to me. How rude you were to me.

Who are you?

I am so shocked when you text me apology even though it was such a pathetic apology. What hurt me even more was that i was about that molly girl that you were seeing over summer. Why would i even care about you making some joke which i dont even remember you making.

You are so rude and hurtful. you dont understand how much you hurt me. I felt so embarrassed you were being so horrible in front of everyone. i just sat there and took it. but you kept going and making jokes at my expense and behind my back.

All i wanted was for you to have a good birthday and feel loved and wanted. I even put up with the heartbreak and disgusting used feeling i knew i was going to get when we stayed the night together. I just wanted you to be happy and have what ever you want. I know presents should be given without expecting anything in return. But every year bear i always go out of my way to buy you something even though we dont speak or are friends, Just to make you feel happy.

I know you dont love me or want me as a girlfriend, but i always just try to be around to try and be your friend. But you just really dont want me around. So i stop going over to the house, stop pre drinking at your house. i try to leave you alone. Im so alone you have no idea, but i want you to have what you want, i want you to feel happy.

But you are just so horrible to me. i know ive said horrible things that are unforgivable but they come from a place of hurt. You are just malicious and evil. All i ever do is love you bear.

I just keep thinking maybe you’re stressed from uni. You said you get really down in the winter. Or maybe something is going on at home. I want to ask if everything is okay.

im just so scared of you now. i really am. i feel uncomfortable. i never know where i stand, i see you out and i literally just walk away or hide. people say your name in a conversation and i get a sick feeling in my stomach. Im so scared of you bear. you frighten me.

im really trying to make an effort of leaving you alone, so you can be free of me. i do it in the hope of me getting over you and then we can be genuine friends. but you are evil and fake. i dont even want to be your friend anymore 🙁

thats all i ever wanted as a relationship with you either romantic or friendly. but you hate me and dislike me so much. i dont want you to hate me. please dont hate me. i will do anything you want for you not to hate me. i stopped going round yours. i try not to speak to you when i see you.

i just get so lonely sometimes. i feel empty without you. but recently the way you have treated me i rather deal with the empty horrible feeling than try and be friends with you. you are so horrible. i only asked two things of you when we last spoke.

1. work and try you best at uni

2. be you

i never thought you would be like ever other guy.

youre genuine, funny, smart, sexy, honest, loving, good in bed and i feel so safe with you.

there is no other place i would rather be than in your arms.

you have changed and have never appeared more fake and more malicious than before. god knows what you say about me behind my back. i know you say horrible things like im just sex or im desperate.

i have always trusted you 100%. you were my best friend baby. my best friend. i now i dont know you. i dont even think i can trust you with things ive told you in the past.

please come back. if there is anything going on in your life tell me baby.

i love you forever and always

baby doll xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx