Dear Brian,

Breaking up with you was liberating, but I still can’t let go of this anger inside me. I wasn’t angry when we broke up, in fact I pitied you and felt extremely guilty for causing you pain.

When I was with you, I had many doubts, but I pushed them aside because I was still happy spending time with you and I didn’t want what we started to fall apart. My judgment was extremely clouded and I’m angry at myself for being so naïve.

Now I want to tell you all the things I wish I had said so you know how messed up you are. Hopefully you’ll run across this someday, but if not, it’s enough for me knowing I won’t have to spend my life with somebody like you.

First, you never respected my wishes when it came to sex. I told you I didn’t want to do it, but you kept begging and begging and begging. Not because you wanted to “give me something special;” what a load of shit. It really riles me up thinking I bought into that. You wanted to have sex because you wanted to do something to me that my ex didn’t, because you had major insecurity issues, and for your own satisfaction. And no, your horniness was NOT my problem. I firmly stand by what I said, and I wouldn’t expect you to do something you were uncomfortable with, even if I was a horny dog like you. I wish I had saved my virginity for a guy who can respect me.

Second, you always treated me opinion like trash and thought you were right just because you’re older than I. I’m not perfect and sometimes I can be hypocritical, but I want you to know that you’re a big fucking hypocrite. Always telling me that I was closed minded, when you were always bashing white culture without even attempting to understand it. I don’t care if you only said those things because you feel inferior to white men. To this day I am extremely offended and my feelings are hurt, because I think that deep down you really believed those things. Even trying to tell me that white people’s idea of love is fucked up… well I think you’re the one who is fucked up. Always asking me weird questions like “what would you do if our daughter said I raped her?” or “what would you do if I murdered someone”? What the fuck was up with that???

And then when I finally decided to leave you, you tried to manipulate me and make me into the bad guy by saying that your ex-girlfriends stayed with you through much worse. I don’t know what you did to your exes that was “much worse” than that but holy shit, they must have had no self-respect. Of course, you believed it was because they were more loyal and had a superior kind of love (yeah I know you said it wasn’t “superior,” but I know that’s what you were thinking). Your idea of love is pretty messed up. The notion that true love is sticking with someone through thick and thin does NOT mean that you should stay with someone if they are treating you like crap.

There are so many more things I could go on about. Like how sexist you are. I hope you never move to a high position in your company, since you think all women are retarded and lazy. And you look down upon promiscuous women who are perfectly nice people. Nobody should be judged on the basis of anything other than their character. That’s just a basic human moral principle. I would never look down upon a guy for being a virgin, and no I didn’t look down upon you for being scared of bugs, at least not the same way you look down upon slutty girls. I should have known you were so judgmental the moment you said gay people are “retarded.” I should have dumped you right then and there just for thinking something so stupid and mean. Yeah sure you said you “changed,” but I don’t think you really did. You didn’t start to accept gays out of your own accord, but because you “loved me.” You should have accepted of them because any decent, kind person would see that homosexuals no less deserving of respect than any other human being, not just because you “love me.” Goodbye and I hope you grow up someday.