I love you. That’s the first time I’ve admitted it actually using the words, but it’s too late.

You ended things today. I should have seen the signs, they were right there in front of me, screaming for my attention. But I really believed you would stick it out. I believed you believed in us.

I remember the day we first met, it that crowded auditorium. The moment I looked into your eyes & you made me laugh as soon as you opened your mouth, I knew there was something special about you. I could hardly believe it when you saw the same thing in me.

You said that two people who both have a lot of problems shouldn’t be together, & maybe you’re right. You came into my life at a very dark time, but you brought the first sunshine that I have seen since what happened with my dad. You lit my way & I was just starting to emerge from that tunnel. Unfortunately, part of getting out of the darkness was going through the most painful parts of both my past & present. I’m sorry if my problems were ever a burden to you, because they were never meant to be. No one ever deserves to endure the pain of what I go through, especially you, so if I pushed them off on you in anyway, you have my deepest regrets. I know you’re going through a lot in your life now as well, & I want you to know I’m still here. You may have left me, but I still care about you. That’s not going to stop.

This letter isn’t to beg you to come back to me. I accept the fact you ended things. It’s only to say that I’m going to miss you & I’m sorry that we aren’t getting the chance to see what we could become.

I know you. I know what you’ve been through, the struggles of your past, but I still accept you for who you are today, flaws & all. It hurts to feel that you couldn’t do the same for me, but it’s understandable. As I said before once, I’m a mess, dear.

A mess who gets you, a mess who can never hurt you, a mess who can’t stop thinking about you. But if you want space, you have it. If you want to be alone, okay. If you can’t be with me, I will learn to live with it. Because I honestly only want your happiness. I wish you the best.