I’m writing this here so I can tell you in front of the world. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I know think sorry is just a word but it’s still the truth.

Baby I know I’ve written you letter after countless letter, I know we’ve been through a ton of crap. You must feel so disappointed, angry, confused, unsure, betrayed and hurt. When I left you I thought it’s what you wanted. I will regret that decision forever.

I have my days where I try to accept that you’re gone and then days like today where I know in my soul we are meant to be.

You told me I should just go on with my life and show the world what I can do, if that’s truly what you want I’ll do it but I’d rather show you. I am so sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry we got sucked into this circle. I never meant to hurt you angel, I blame myself for allowing third parties to guide my thinking when I should have been my own man and thought for myself. I’m sorry for my clingy behavior, invading your personal time, not listening to your request for breathing room. I’m sorry I’ve written so much, maybe it’s my way of trying to heal.

I’m sorry I accused you of using me, of not caring enough about me and I’m sorry that I made our relationship harder than it needed to be. Baby I love you more than all the stars in the sky. The day you said you’d marry me was the proudest day of my life I allowed my past scars to affect our future. I allowed life’s pressures to tear us apart and if I had it to do over again I wouldn’t have behaved immaturely, I would have protected your beautiful soul and kept your heart safe like I set out to do when I fell in love with you years ago. Having the love of a good woman is still so new to me, for the only time in my life I saw myself as a father, a husband, a protector and when I felt that being challenged I reacted poorly. All I ever wanted was to give you peace, joy & safety. I wanted us to be eachother’s safe place in stormy seas. Honey if you find it in your heart to open communication between us again, I will show you not only through words but in actions that I will be your rock. I will be your Superman. I will not fail you again. No more endless circle. I can’t promise everyday will be perfect but I swear to God I will be the man I’m meant to be. I’ll remain true to my heart and be the man you fell in love with. No more excuses, no more insecurity, no more bullshit phone calls. Baby while I can live without you if I have to, I don’t want to.  Please forgive me, not forget but forgive. That way you can look back and see that for you, for me, for the kids, for our family, I became a better man. You’re the love of my life, please don’t give up on us. You’re always going to be my angel. I love you, please let us work this out so we can heal and be stronger for surviving this. Sometimes two people have to fall apart so they can come back together… Please take your time, search your soul. I won’t write you after today unless you write me first. I’m going to do what I should’ve done and give you breathing room.