Dear Rob,

You were the first person I had ever dated, and you made me fall in love with you at just the young age of 15. You were a rebel, a bad boy of sorts, and I knew when I first saw you that I was intrigued. I wish I had listened to the people around me when they were giving me advise about how you were not good for me. But I was blind, you made me love you, and I couldn’t help but see all the good in you. I was sheltered from you selfishness and in the end you broke my heart not once, but three times.

Each heartbreak was different, the first one felt like a crushing blow, I couldn’t breath I was devastated and everyone around me must have know about it, but we talked and you decided we would get back together until you left for college. I was okay for that I was prepared. You left for college and we weren’t together anymore, I got a glimpse of life without you and hanging out with friends and I was fine, our break up was mutual and I was doing great. My life was moving forward without you. But you came back and asked to see me again and I said sure okay, and at the end of the night you asked me to be your girlfriend again. Why, why did you have to do this to me? I was doing great without you. You were selfish and wanted me back, and you knew that I would take you back in a heartbeat because what 17 year old girl wouldn’t. You should have stayed away and let me move on when things were good.  So we dated for the rest of the year long distance while you were away at college and I was at home still in high school. I was excited you were coming home from college and I thought we would have an awesome summer together. I was wrong it was and it was a Tuesday and we went to the mall and I knew something was wrong but I brushed it off. It wasn’t until we came back to my house that we sat on the couch and you proceeded to tell me that you didn’t think we should be together because if we stayed together that you would end up marrying me and you didn’t want that. I was in shock, and somehow I ended up mutually agreeing that breaking up was a good idea. You left my house, and for the second time my heart broke. It wasn’t until you left and everything sank in that I realized what had happened. This time I was depressed, I cried, and I barely ate for 2 weeks. But I was going to see you in two weeks because you still agreed to go as my date to my cousins wedding with me. I thought I would give you time to realize that you would want me back. The wedding came and I had it all planned out, that when I took you home I would tell you that this was it, either we are back together or it was over for good. You told me you had no interest in getting back together and I cried and told you to get out and leave. Devastated. I went back home and was depressed for another 3 weeks. I found the need to try and rebound with new people to get over you, and I ended up having the best summer of my life hanging out with friends and meeting new people. I went to college single, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, but I was still upset with you. I was angry with you because I had suspicions that you had cheated on me, I had also seen pictures of you with your new girlfriend, and I couldn’t believe you had moved on so fast. I found out that you were dating her only a month or two after we broke up after we had dated for 3 years and you had said you loved me everyday of the time we dated.  I then decided to cut off all contact with you. I deleted you from facebook, and from my phone, I didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. Then something great happened. I met someone who showed me how wrong you were for me. He showed me how a girl should be treated. Made me feel wanted again. I was moving on from you. But then you had to come back into my life and and upset the balance and my happiness. You texted me asking how to get over the break up of you and the girl you left me for. I thought what nerve do you have to ask me how I dealt with our break up and relate it to you! Who were you to ask me for advice on heartbreak when you have given your fare share of it all to me and I had never done anything to you. But being the nice comparing compassionate person that I am, I fought hard not to say all the mean stuff I wanted to say to you, but I said instead i told you it will work out and you will get over it. And gave you words of encouragement. You texted me for my birthday 8 months later and we talked a bit about life, and I got up the guts to ask you if you had cheated on me before we broke up the second time. You told me you had with the girl you left me for. I was shocked, I couldn’t believe you had done that to me. I asked you what you did exactly and you ended up telling me you slept with her. I was astonished. And the worst part was you did it while I was away on vacation with my family. And then when I came back you acted as if nothing had happened. And still kissed me and told me you loved me like nothing was wrong. I told you to never contact me ever again and I didn’t want to hear from you. This was the third time you broke my heart. This time I was angry that I had been a fool and dismissed all my suspicions. I was mad that it took you a year after we had broken up to tell me that you had cheated on me with this girl. You are a coward. This third and final time that you had broken my heart, has not been able to leave me till now. I am writing this all down and my feelings so that I can get some kind of closure. To stop feeling like I was played and a fool for loving you. You did this to me you made me love you for 3 years and you broke my heart 3 times, and you didn’t even care. And now every time I see you with your new wife, I want to scream at you and yell to her do you really know him? Do you know what he did to me? What he could do to you later on? Because I guarantee she doesn’t know the truth. Heck I don’t even know how she decided to marry you after you only dated 9 months. 9 months seriously… we dated for 3 years!!! 3 years! And you go off and marry a girl you have dated for 9 months!? She doesn’t even really know you. I was shocked when I found out. I’m disgusted because you have jumped into a marriage with a girl who doesn’t know you, the real you that I grew up with. You have achieved everything that I have wanted for my future and you have done everything in cowardice and lies. And I have done nothing but everything I could to get over you and move on and get over what you did to my heart, and trying to love another I was so guarded I couldn’t let them in because I was afraid they would do to me what you have done.  This is me getting closure. Telling you everything I’m mad about that you did to me. I want you to know that I am better without you. You made me love you and then you ripped out my heart and betrayed me multiple times. You broke me down, but I was able to build myself back up and I was still able to have faith in love after you. I know that I loved you and i think a part of me still does. But a part of me is still very hurt and hasn’t healed. Im trying to rid myself of that feeling, trying to rid you, from my life, and my thoughts. Trying to move forward and not have this anger towards you any more. I don’t know what I will do if I ever see you in person. Because I know that a part of me still loves you even if I don’t want it to. I want you to see me happier without you. I want you to be jealous and upset that I got away from you. Because I know for a fact you had something great and you didn’t know it till it was gone. And you will never have it back.  I don’t want this anger that you have made me have for the past four years. So I’m done with you in my life. You will now only be a very distant memory. You will not come to my thoughts every now and then. You will not be thought of at all. And you will especially not be thought of as something I wish I still had because I realize now that you and me would never work.  Even though you made me love you, you weren’t supposed too. This is me getting the courage to stand up to you and tell you everything that I have wanted to say for 4 years. You made me feel like I was in the wrong, but really it was you and you couldn’t even be a man enough to admit it to me when you broke up with me. I hope your new wife never finds out what you did, because then I think she might realize she doesn’t really know you at all.

-C