Hello Ms.Panda I sit here, like I usually do in a restless haze trying to form a narrative to which you’ll never see. it’s been almost a year since you let me go and not a day has passed that I don’t think of you. I spent many a day lost over what happened. I remember when you first left I cried at work for days trying desperately not to be seen by my coworkers.  I miss you more than words can describe. I wish I could’ve been the man  you needed but alas the past is the past.  

I wish you could see me now though. I started working out about a month and a half ago and I’ve become a great cook in our time apart. I hope your doing well for yourself. I know it’s been rough with me opting for no contact but understand that I need it right now. I need time to let you go. I was hoping you’d be nothing but a mere memory by now but it’s as if you broke up with me yesterday. I miss you so. I wish I didn’t. You were my everything and I wouldve given anything for us to pan out. But I realize it was never meant to be and with each day I’m coming to that realization.  I hope when your time comes I hope you find man who will elevate you to places that most humans can only reach in their dreams. At this point I’m forcing myself to believe that I’ll never see or hear from you again again so that I may heal in peace. You bought so much light to my life it made no sense lol. well here’s to your dope and hopefully long life. I wish you much success and I’ll catch you again in my dreams.

sincerely Khalil

p.s. I love you in a place where there is no space and time and thank you for being apart of me. I’ll forever hold on to your memory.