Matt,

You left me when I needed you the most. It is easy to love someone when they are at their best but, It is hard to love someone when something like a baby is ripped away from them, even if it’s not time for a child. It is a tough pill to swallow. With that added stress, I released what I had been feeling for a long time. Resentment to the guy who gave me herpes, lied to my face on multiple occasions and now, left me without a proper breakup after just aborting a child. I get it, I was being a cunt and I can admit that, but just think on a biological level what happens when one moment a women is a couple weeks pregnant to no longer having a child in them. Hormones drop and fluctuate at ridiculous rates, my mood in turn of course will be erratic. My behavior, I am sorry for, but you’re reaction was simply unacceptable.

You ran away from this, without even saying it to my face. Without batting an eye, you post a half nude picture of yourself knowing WELL I would see it. Now, What kind of man does that right after dumping their ex via text? Not a man, a mere child. If you can get me pregnant, you can dump me to my face.

I dumped you, you threaten suicide, I take you back because I couldn’t bear not talking to you. You dump me, no remorse at all.

Your fleeting feet seem to be a theme in your life. Dropped out of 3 colleges, a job without even quitting and now a women who deeply cared for you. This is something you might want to think over. Yes, no one is suppose to have their shit together all the time, hell take a look at yours truly but, It is hurting the people that surround you whether you want to believe it or not. I don’t know what this is from, maybe you don’t think you are capable. You 100% are. I was in love with you for a reason, I know you have drive and passion somewhere but, you discard things without even giving it a trying effort.

Yes, we fought a lot. Yes, I was wrong. Yes, you were wrong as well. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of the fact we were suppose a TEAM as a couple, we were suppose to be on each other side above all else. The lack of trust didn’t help but, I think I didn’t trust you because I knew, when it came down to THIS, where I’m currently at, you were going to run for the hills and try to find the next “women”.

I wish things could of worked out! I loved you to bits! You were my best friend, we had intimacy and not just the sex kind. The kind that I could talk to you about anything without feeling uncomfortable and I hope you felt the same way too. We had communication, even if you think it was shitty, couples are suppose to fight. Hell, do you think Haley and Dylan got to the 5 year mark by not fighting like blood thirsty tigers? FUCK NO. But, obviously, you felt that things were too messed up, I was not worth the struggle anymore. I guess I can respect that. Not faking you wanted to be there. But at the same time fuck you. Fuck you for leaving me when I needed YOU the most. Where is the commitment in that? No where. I miss my best friend, but my “best friend” wasn’t who I thought he was and he wasn’t there for me like he said he would.

I needed someone to hold me and tell me it’ll be ok, I love you, I’m here for you. All in the amount of 2 days I lost a pregnancy, a lover and got backstabbed by Devo.

You will never understand the pain, I don’t expect you too. But something about this pain, not now but eventually, will be freeing. I will get stronger, happier and better as a person. All thanks to your shitty decision making. Thank you.