Dear Marc,

2 years. When I left I wrote you that I’ll never believe in love again. And here I am, two years later, stuck in my loss of hope.

Nobody can approach me friends, family, potential lovers are all left out the door. No-one enters ever. Only my faithful cat is here, she is the only one I am not afraid to love. You broke me in a million pieces and I don’t know where to start to begin putting myself back together. I can’t believe you gave me that silence, I don’t think I deserved it. I don’t know how to begin again, I am too scared, too lonely, too exhausted, too destroyed. But damn it, it’s been two years. I want to leave you behind, I really want to. Is it too late ? Am I just done with love ? Is it just not for me anymore ? Do I have to accept that I’ll never love again ? I am so horribly scarred to give away my heart to someone who just won’t respect how precious it is. How can one love and trust again with this lingering and pernicious certainty that the most incredible stories are going to devastate you anyways… But I want to live and I want to love. I have to, otherwise it is worth this pain…