I’m sorry I was such bitch. I chose my career over us. My entire life I thought that if I made a mistake, slowed down, or veered of course, I’d end up where I shouldn’t be. When I was young my goal was get the best grades and go the best college. When I left college my goal was to become a marketing manager in a top level firm.  When I met you, I knew you would be a mistake. That you could never be more than a fun time. You with your tattoos and Mohawk, and mechanic jobs with dreams of being a pro surfer could never be a part of my future plans.

But I loved you. I really loved you. I need you to know that. I couldn’t let myself fall for you at first but I did. And the second I realized I did love you. I got scared so I ended it. We got back together a week later and stayed together for two years.

Then the worst thing possible happened to us. I was offered a job in New York. I was so happy and then I came home to you, and I was worried about what you’d think. Or do. But most of all, what would happen to us. If I should turn down the promotion to be with you.

And suddenly, I was scared again.

Since when did I let a guy get in my way?

I was scared you were slowing me down. That suddenly I would want to marry and have kids and my career would become a job, second to everything else. I didn’t want that. I wasn’t ready for that. I had to stay focus.

I’m sorry.

I’ve worked hard my entire life. I couldn’t let anyone, least of all you stand in my way.

So I broke up with you, and moved to New York. A part of me will always wonder what would have happened if I stayed. If I had picked you. It doesn’t matter, it’s been seven months since we broke up.

From what I hear, you moved on. Found a great girl and you’re still a surfer.

I hope your well.

Again, I’m sorry.