Dear J,

Its almost been a year since I wrote you a letter and actually sent it to you. I’ve tried many times to reach out to you and it seems that you’ve frozen me out.

When a relationship ends, its more than common that those two people move on with their lives and no longer see any purpose to remain in contact with each other. I understand why but with us its different, it always was.

We shared a bond that, to this day, I cannot shake. You may have done some awful things and I may have said some awful things in response but I never stopped caring for you. I always catch myself thinking about you, whats new with you and how your life is now. Its all I can do but not grab my car keys and visit you. All I want to know is that you’re okay and that you’re happy. I know you’ve gone down a dark path since our break up and I want to help you. You have so much potential to do something good with your life.

I wish we could be in each others lives. You were the only one who understand me and I feel like I was the only one who understood you. When we were together you avoided your demons and broke away from the cycle.

We were best friends for such a long time and I’m struggling without you. We met too young and we both knew, we were too young to settle down. What hurts the most is that we survived so many years only to fall at the final hurdle. We were so close to having the life we dreamed of. I’ve met other people but none of them are like you. We dont have that connection and I’m starting to worry that I’ll never find it again.

I know that we cant be in contact, you’ve told me yourself that you cant cope with it and that you need to move on but it just hurts to know that I wont get to see your future as I care about you so much. I know I cant reach out to you and say this and I think thats why I cant move on. If I could just know you’re okay or speak with you face to face, even if it was as just for closure, I feel like all of this weight would be lifted from my shoulders.

I wish you only the best and pray that one day soon we can meet again and I can share all of this with you. For now, I’ll keep it to myself and keep you in my thoughts. I wish you nothing but happiness and I hope that you are doing well.

All my love,
K x