Dear L,
What a shame it never worked out the way we planned. How we would be lasting for some time. Future is something I hold dear to my heart maybe that’s why I’m still holding on. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I care so much for you and I’m worried not that many other people do. I wish I would of given you the world. I was needy and blindsided for the last few weeks I had of you. I thought you’d always be there. I guess not everyone sees the worst in people and stays. I don’t care that you’re one of those people I still like you for you. What a shame though, that I didn’t try harder when I with you. I could go through the list of things I should of done or said but I honestly don’t see a point anymore. The only thing I can do is be there for you and try better this time as your friend. I used to start fights so I could feel something with you. However you were the only one that got something out of it. You received the satisfaction of having someone dumb enough to adore you. I still am that dumb girl. Maybe sticking around still will be great or maybe the past will haunt me and kill me. I don’t really care though because I’ll never be as cold as you and I’m not embarrassed of caring deeply for you. Sometimes I think about all our good memories and you still give me butterflies. But the past haunts me sometimes. That’s why I can’t look in your eyes anymore. I feel as if you can see my pain. I hope one day they twinkle again and hope one day yours do too.
~J