You were my true love. The little girl inside of me still loves you deeply. I keep her tucked away so that I can live my new life without you. It’s been 13 years since you walked away from our marriage. I survived and bettered myself. The women I am today is strong independent and I know who I am. The woman I am, cannot hear your insults and anger. In fact, the woman I am ignores you when you attempt to pick an argument.
From time to time the little girl in me pushes forward waiting to be heard. I hush her and tell her to sleep. I want her to sleep because when she awakens, I feel her pain. The pain
Of her broken heart overwhelms my being. When she will not hush, I scream at her to go away. I tell her to leave me alone. I want silence. When silence comes I feel numb again.
The woman I am can breath and live and smile and love. She doesn’t love like the little girl, but she loves none the less. Suppressing the little girl has gotten much harder lately.
I want her to sleep and I want her to be silent. Instead she whispers her persistent whispers, she longs to be with her true love. The woman I am today tells her it’s not possible and to forget about it. The little girl is a dreamer and blinded by love. She whispers over and over that one day we will be together and she believes it. The woman I am today cries because she feels the longings of her little girl self and knows she will never reconcile with the love of her life. The pain burns and stings and we cry ourselves to sleep.