Dear Gio,

It’s been 15 months now since you broke up with me. And you know what? It still fucking hurts. I am horrified and scared by any forms of social media now. I am afraid of new posts, follows, likes, comments and uploads. It stings, it hits me and it killed me.

I wanted to say Hi

I wanted to add you as a friend again.

I wanted us to be close again

I wanted you to be my best friend, like the way we used to be.

I wanted to run around the park again

I wanted us to feed our dogs together again

I wanted to eat in almost every restaurant we used to dine in

I wanted to surprise you on birthday

I wanted to massage your back when it hurts

I wanted to wake you up in the morning with a kiss

I wanted to prepare breakfast for you and see that smile on your face

I wanted to buy you white shirts you’ll love

I wanted to travel with you

I wanted to feel your arms again

I wanted to have dinner with your family outside

I wanted to clean the car with you every Saturday

I wanted to go to church with you every Sunday

I wanted to go to school with you every Monday

I wanted to ride on your motorcycle and have that midnight roadtrip and be caught by police bc we don’t have gears

I wanted to share my chocolates with you

I wanted to prepare cookies for you

I wanted to cook pancakes for you

I wanted to wear high heels again

I wanted to share that big burger with you

I wanted that old kisses and hugs

I wanted to walk on the bridge with you again

I wanted to go to the gym with you

I wanted to be on that beach with you again

I wanted to aim that high score on that examination

I wanted to be the one sitting on your front seat car

I wanted to spend the rest of the nights with our friends

I wanted to sing no one else comes close by the karaoke

I wanted to defend our thesis with such ease

I wanted us to go overnight at my place or yours

I wanted to celebrate your first official employment

I wanted to graduate college with you

I wanted to tell you I met her

I wanted to tell you we talked about you

I wanted to tell you she tell me stories about how inlove you are with her

I wanted to tell you I cried in front of her

I wanted to tell you I know her

I wanted to tell you to choose me

I wanted to tell you we met for the second time

I wanted to tell you I tell her things about you

what you love

what you hate

what you have done one time when you’re drunk

what are your favorites

who are your friends are

what time you sleep

what tickles you

what makes you dance

what makes you warm

what makes you sleep

what makes you laugh

what makes you cry

what movie you love

all the possible things she probably know by heart by now

I wanted to tell you this

I wanted to tell you everything

I wanted you to stay for a while, you did, but you left

I am loving you

I love you

I loved you

I wanted to tell you I Love You everyday

I wanted to show you I do

I wanted to;

but you dont want us to,

and that’s the end of it.

I want to ask something, can I?