Dear Ex,

Never in a million years did I imagine myself sitting down writing this. As I look back on our relationship, I can’t help but to be somewhat angry at myself. But the point of this letter isn’t to bash you (although, I will do that, too). It’s to thank you.

Yep, you read that correctly. Go ahead, read it again, it’s not gonna change. I want to thank you. I’ve never really been able to say that until now. Now that you’ve had a minute to take that in, let me explain.

I put up with you for way longer than I should have. All the lies, cheating, drugs, alcohol, it all came before me. You broke my heart several times, but each time, I took you back. I believed you when you said you were going to change. Even when nobody else believed you, I did. Yet, you always ended up going back to your deceitful ways. And it wasn’t until it was right in front of my face (that time I walked in on you and her) that I realized you would never change. You made me feel crazy for accusing you of lying. Even though my accusations always ended up being correct. I understand. It’s easier to place the blame on someone else rather than take responsibility. Not to mention you lacked ambition to do anything. You never set goals and never had a plan for your life. I was honestly embarrassed when people would ask me about you, so I made you out to be better than you were.

To be clear, I realize I was not perfect. I made mistakes. I pissed you off. I think I knew in my heart that this wasn’t right, but I would never admit that. When I thought about life without you, it made my stomach turn. You were a part of my life for 7 years. You knew things about me no one else did. But none of that was relevant anymore, the damage was already done.

When I finally left, it hurt. I was left with so many unanswered questions. I was so confused. Going to sleep at night without crying was something that became so foreign to me. You were not the person I fell in love with. I didn’t know who you were anymore. I spent so much time trying to change you into this guy I wanted you to be. But you never were that guy, and honestly, it wasn’t fair to you to have to live up to that. You can’t change someone who doesn’t see a problem with their behavior. It wasn’t long after I left that I realized I did not love you. I loved the idea of being in love. And let me just tell you, I have never felt so free and powerful up until this point.

Life without you went on. The days got easier. In the six months since I’ve left, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I am a strong woman, and I made the mistake of choosing a weak man. The man I am meant to be with chooses me over everyone else. He never talks down to me and never makes me feel crazy. He respects me. He supports my dreams and encourages me to do my best. He takes care of me spiritually, not just materialistically. He leads me closer to God. And he is not you.

So, all I have left to say is thank you. Thank you for showing me that I deserve so much better. Thank you for becoming the monster you did and making me realize how toxic you were. Thank you for breaking me so I could discover true happiness. Most importantly, thank you for saving me from you.

Sincerely,
Your So-Much-Better-Off Ex-Girlfriend.