dear box,

i’ve honestly given up on you giving me another chance. i miss you will all my heart. how you held me, kissed me, hugged me, and most importantly how you knew me like the back of your hand. you knew me so well, and i think that’s what scares me. you knew how to make me fall for you and how to get what you wanted. you were a player and you loved playing games with girls. you were my first real relationship because i mean who really considers a boyfriend in kindergarten a real relationship? you’d dated multiple people in the past. you weren’t a virgin either, i was and i’m glad you weren’t the one to change that and no one has yet. you were older than me by two years.. and i think i should’ve known that you’d want things. i was naive and didn’t know everything you did.

it all started the day after thanksgiving, you and your family came over to my aunts house that day for my cousins science project. we were playing monopoly and yuo were sitting beside me flirting as if it was nothing, i’d known you more than 6 months and i knew how you were. you always flirted with girls so i didn’t really think anything of it but me being the person i flirted back. when it was my turn to go into the other room for my cousins experiment you came to the door to close it and said “i love you baby”, which i just rolled my eyes to because you were such a big flirt. that’s when everything started. i asked you that night if you were serious or if you were just messing around with me and you said “i was serious”. wow, you didn’t know how good that made me feel. no guy had ever liked me or if they did i had no clue. i told you i kind of did too and we started talking.. after a week i told you just wanted to be friend because i wasn’t ready and you accepted that and gave me some time. about two weeks later i saw you again and you just were really dry with me. that broke me and all the feelings i had for you flooded and we started talking again.

december 30, 2016, @12:30 am you said “mi amor i love you and i really want to officially make you mine so baby will you go out with me?” i got butterflies in my stomach and started sweating but of course said yes. i was so happy and i trusted you so much because even before we started dating you gave me your username and passwords for everything without me asking, that meant everything to me. i loved you with all my heart and i had a new years kiss which happened to be my first kiss. we barely ever argued and just loved each other so much. i remember one night in specific we stayed up until 5:00 am just talking about random stuff. you don’t know how much i miss that, how much i miss everything that we were and everything that we could’ve been if it weren’t for February 2, 2017.

i was washing dishes and you logged into my snapchat account on your phone and saw that’s i’d been texting this guy that we’ll name nick. nick and i were just friends and one of my friends that we’ll name chelsea really liked him and had liked him for a long time and i was just trying to see how nick felt about her but for some reason you thought i was talking to him like that and thought i’d been flirting and cheating on you with nick. you broke up with me the next day. i saw you in person that day at my aunts house again for one of my other cousins birthday. my little cousin ran out of the house i went looking for him and i happened to see you and tried to talk to you but you didn’t want to. i couldn’t help but look at you non-stop that day because you were wearing my favorite shirt on you, it was a white salt life shirt that i absolutely loved on you. i begged you for another chance because i hadn’t cheated on you nor would i ever even think of doing that to you. you did .. you gave me another chance but less than a week later on February 10, 2017, you broke up with me again and this time it was because we didn’t see each other enough and you were worried about me after you graduated.. i cried so so so much. i begged for you not to leave me and to stay because i loved you so fucking much and you meant the world to me! there was nothing i could do and i asked and texted you non-stop for a month but i finally stopped on March 10, 2017.. it broke me to stop but i knew i couldn’t change you mind.. you called me a whore and a hoe and a bitch and every rude word you could probably imagine.. but regardless i still love you and would probably take you back if you crawled back for some unknown reason.. i miss you and i heartbroken as hell .. you taught me things i never knew and probably wouldn’t if you didn’t. thanks for a strong month box or at least that what we called you..

much love to you and you wonderful family.