I hope you find your path in life. I hope you find someone who’ll have feelings for you as strong as I’ve had. Someone who’ll love you and cherish the time you have given them as much as I’ve had. I hope you find someone to call your own as I have tried with you. Words cannot express how grateful I was to have found someone whose presence gave me strength when I really needed it. I saw a path open that didn’t exist for me before. I told myself if I could do it. If not for myself than for you. I found solace in you. I found meaning to life again. All I ever wanted was to build something with someone truly special. I wasn’t asking for you to be there 24/7. But knowing I wasn’t alone anymore was enough for me. Knowing someone else loved me in this cold world gave me warmth to my soul. This world is too big and vast to spend a short lifetime looking for someone truly perfect. I saw greatness in you when I couldn’t find it in myself. I saw your imperfections and it made me love you even more. I gave you my heart because it was all I had left to give and I felt like you deserved it. I wanted you to know that you are loved in this country despite what you have experienced. I want you to know that I loved you and will always have a place in my heart for you, but how you have chosen to end up in this heart of mine saddens me even more. It was never my intention to hurt you. Or to push you to your brink. I just wanted be your stress reliever. You’re shoulder away from home to cry, your support because I know what you’re going through. But you’ve crushed me, shattering what little I had left. And holding on to you has sent me in a spiral. You’ve turned from something uplifting to an anchor. While what I said or how I said it may have hurt. I felt like it didn’t deserve what I’ve received. And I’ve tried to show you I was sorry. And somewhere it has gotten lost in translation. I’ve thought long and hard about what you’ve said with my heart, gut, and mind. And I have yet to find a reason that made you think I was going to hold you down in life when all I’ve wanted to do is live life with you and make the best of it. I haven’t been able to heal while trying to hold on to the memory of you. My heart has been filling with doubt and sadness when I should have been shoveling out what had happened. I fell from quicksand to a slippery pit with nothing to grasp. You had me questioning so many more things in my life. Feeling even more like a burden and a failure. I’ve sat and questioning the meaning of my life for years. But this question has gotten a little too real and has gotten too cold. We ended so unexpectedly like a message partly sent. I couldn’t understand what would cause you to just up and run. I felt like you didn’t mean for it to end. There were so many things I would have done to try and cheer you up. But I’m done. You’ve made my depression worse and on top of that heart broken. And now it’s hard to trust anyone with my heart when I desperately need to let someone in to help pick up the pieces. I can’t even trust anyone as a friend. I’ve been backed into a corner and the only way out is to cut you out completely. I tried to save what little we had left by being your friend. It took me a lot to even offer it when I said it wouldn’t have been a good idea. I put just a little too much just to have my worst fear come true. You not letting me in. I’ve never let someone get as close to my heart as I have you. And my heart was the only thing keeping me from falling. And holding on to you has prevented me from climbing back up. I’ve cherished every second with you, even the ones when you were not around. As I knew I wasn’t alone. I had someone to look forward too and for once someone looked forward to seeing me. Before I met you, I didn’t have much left holding me up. I was and still am severely depressed, I’ve been fighting it my whole life but school just made it harder. Then you came and helped me fight without even knowing. And now I have to find something or someone else in life to get me back to my old self. I really wanted to fix things. I really wanted you back, back into my arms. But now I see you never saw what I saw. I doubt you even liked me anywhere close to that at all. You just wanted someone to play around with and pass the time. Writing this is helping me move on from you. As I will not stop until I see the other side of life. And now that I’ve have learned to say goodbye I can start to recover. And I will do it with or without you. From what you have been showing me. I will probably do this without you. I don’t think If can let you back in after this as much as I’d like too. I needed a friend most in these hard times. And I desperately tried to be yours as I knew a little about what you’ve been fighting and since you were my friend when I was lost. I felt like our bond was stronger. But if you want to be alone. You can be alone. I think this “to busy” thing is bullshit. You were busy before yet we still managed to hangout. Still slept over. But now I can’t even get a minute with you. You said you weren’t going to drag me along but that’s what it feels like you’ve been doing. But I will not wait any longer. I wanted to work something out with you. I just hope when you do find yourself that you’re still the kind person I once knew. I blocked you on social media awhile ago and you’re staying that way. Seeing your name all the time and seeing things that reminded me of you hasn’t made this any easier on me. I’m not going to add you back. If you still have my number you can text. I don’t care. If you didn’t want me involved in your life anymore you should have told me. I could have moved on sooner. I’m the type of guy that develops eternal love for someone and it would take a lot to change it. I had that type of love for you. I would have stuck by your side through thick and thin. But I guess you can’t handle a little thin and came up with an excuse. I would had love to have something casual with you and turn it into something serious when you were comfortable. I’m done playing games. I’ve never been one to play them. I’m not one to mess around in a relationship. I’m more than just a “cool guy”. I’m open to change. But to change you have to communicate with someone. I will find someone who see’s that. I’m not going to let this waiting drag me down anymore. If we never meet again I wish you the best and hope you have a great life.