To Shawn,

You took me aside this past January. You were quiet, didn’t want to look at me. You told me after I asked “I’m sorry. I don’t love you. I only see you as a friend. You’ll find someone better than I was ever to you.”

2018. The year I thought were were going strong. We strolled along the Mall of America, finding promise rings. We explored. We talked. Hangout. Even to Tim hortons just for a good breakfast.

You drove along in the bright cherry red corolla or that midnight blue Camry, driving me around. Here I thought you would build my confidence to get my drivers license, so I could drive you around in my Flame red to blue PT Crusier. We kissed in the Camry but you dropped me off in the Corolla. I asked you if there was still a chance. All I heard you say was “maybe. Once my life is stable for the both of us.”

We talked for a bit after but then you cut me off at the end of January. I saw it as a sign you were just done commuting to this friendship. Valentines came along, my heart belonged to another yet, I said my final farewell and a blocking on kik.

Everyday my family asks how your doing. I have to lie to tell them your Alright when in reality, I don’t truly know. I still wonder if your struggling in college or if your having troubles with the family. I wonder everyday about you.

Yet I know you probably don’t even want to say my name anymore.

I buried the promise ring and that bracelet you bought.
I hid the picture in the box that the ring came with, burying it in my yard as a reminder to let go.

Yet I still can’t let go.

You were the half that completed me. The Leo you and the Sagittarius me. The mario cart cheater with that green shell (yes I still think your a cheater for that) the one that everyone believed would stay with me. But here you are. Gone.

Those months being with you. I’ll never forget.

But now my heart needs to let go, just like you did with me.

I hope to find someone just like you someday.

Because I know your gonna make another girl happy.

And I know it won’t be with me.