What would I say to you if I knew that one of us was going to die in a few hours?
I look at the horizon and it seems grey and hopeless as at the same time I remember how valuable it was our family, now that I see the emptiness in the home that you left behind. I have found out how strong I can be, for this time I do not let you break me again, I know that you try because you want to know that I have feelings. But despite that, I don’t even want to think in a future where you’re not in the picture. I try and keep busy, I have changed, I have a life of my own and I keep going along with it’s struggles. Whenever I go out and meet new people the sensation is still blue, I know that every body has a value, but to me, I can’t find nothing interesting as long as it doesn’t have all the story that we shared together. I am aware that at some point of my life it will stop hurting and I will accept, I know, but I don’t want to accept that what we have is kept somewhere I don’t know and and don’t find the key to bring it back with us. Hear, my love, don’t fool yourself, please acknowledge the calls that you’ve given me, acknowledge the hearts that you’ve sent me, acknowledge the songs that you’ve made that are so full with our history, with our feelings, with our pain. Please stay alive for the world and for me, for our home, for the Christmas. We’re engaged, let’s try and fill our gaps with gold and silver, I’m proposing you to give you a child, a child that will fill our sorrows with hope. I have taken the decision to look deep into your flaws, to love them and accept them as they’re you. I’m not the same person, for this months without the warmth and love have taught me so much about self love and self worth. I am a complete person thinking positive, I invite you to try and live a new chapter with me, and to write it slowly this time. I have tryed for you, several times, open your heart and give me the chance.