To my ex,

Oh the love and pain you’ve shown me..

Let’s start with the love..
Firstly I want to thank you for showing me real love. Accepting me for who I was and never failing to remind me everyday how much you loved me. Thank you for teaching me to love myself and never doubt who I am. Your endless support even from 300 miles away would always make me smile. You were a piece of me that I didn’t even know was missing. You helped me grow and achieve my goals and never let anything get in the way of that. You wanting the best for me made me want the best for myself. Dating and loving you truly was a breath of fresh air and for that I thank you.

However I do not thank you for the heartbreak you have caused. Choosing to end what we had was your biggest mistake. I respect your desire for space and clarity but I do not respect your decision to paint me in a negative light. I have never whispered a bad word on your name and it pains me that you would even beckon those words. How can someone love you so much and then all of a sudden turn it off? I will never understand. Throughout our relationship I would apologize for your mistakes when in reality you should have been the one who was sorry. But I ’m most sorry to myself for putting up with your manipulation. Betraying my trust and allowing you to wiggle your way back in only for you to do it again.

Lastly, I’m not sorry that I fell in love with you. I’m not sorry for only wanting the whole world to be yours and I’m not sorry that I still think of you as one of my best friends. I loved you so much it hurts.

And it still hurts.