kota,
if you had just broken my heart and moved on, i would have been fine. It would’ve hurt like hell but i would be able to get over it. why can’t you be like every other guy and just say that we’re not meant for each other or something? I asked why it was over. You said “I care about you too much. You’re going far in life, and you’re going to do great things. I want what’s best for you. I don’t want to hold you back, so what’s best is us not being together”. That’s something a coward says. You think because you had a rough childhood that it’ll be like that forever. Your mom, your friends, your foster parents, at some point they all left you. I was the only one that was there for you. I get that you’re scared to trust people because of your past, but who gave you the right to make me completely fall for you just to leave me? You say those people in your past hurt you, yet you do the same thing to the only people in your life who actually care about you. You let me believe that we had a future. And I’m not even sure that you mean it when you say you cared. Because if you had really cared, you would have been there for me when I was going through the roughest time of my life, regardless of if we were together or not. Yet you just ignore me. And break my heart more every day. I’ve written you a thousand letters. I’ve sent you one, maybe two. You know how I feel. And we both know that you secretly feel the same way. But you’re too much of a coward to admit it. And you ignore me because you know you can’t lie to my face. That’s a coward’s way out. I hope one day you heal your scars so that you don’t make more for other people. But I guess I’ll always love you, because I’m too much of a coward to let go. Because I’m scared I’ll never click with someone like that again. And I’m scared I’ll never be that happy again. That’s all “love” is really, a game that kills the cowardly. No one wins.
Always,
e