My biggest heartbreak was also my biggest lesson.
The beginning of the end of us were the worst days of my life and i was so certain there was no getting over you. but as i sit here in another boys sweatshirt i reflect on what i knew before you compared to after.
oh Jake,
i should’ve seen the red flags waving right in front of me.
i was so in love, that they were perceived as green and gold.
i didn’t eat for 5 days when after we broke up. it isn’t that i wasn’t hungry, but the thought of you (which never, and still hasn’t left my head) simply stole my appetite.
but you breaking my heart is the best thing that you could have possibly done for me. You taught me how I shouldn’t be loved, how i deserve so much more than what you gave me.
time really is key.
3 months ago i pictured myself wallowing over you, but now i bask in what you taught me.
i still dream about you, my thoughts are still connected and chained together with vague memories of us, almost as if the good outweighed the bad. maybe it did. maybe it does.
thank you for breaking my heart because now every boy that interacts with me instantly gets compared to you.
“Jake never did this”
“Jake used to do that”
“Jake never said that to me”
i used to think this was me hung up on the thought of you, the thought of what could have been if you didn’t break my heart in the school bathroom moments before my sports tryouts.
but now i realize this is simply my guard. i am not letting my guard down because i know better.
i know how i deserve to be treated.
i owe that to you.
if it weren’t for you I would probably be tolerating another manipulative upperclassman’s threats and games.
but i learned. from you.
thank you for showing me i deserve so much more than you.
say hi to your mother for me. i miss her smile.
i don’t miss you,
erin
PS- i still think about you and what could have been.
8 Comments
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It hurts so bad when ur in a long term relationship and ur only 14 and already got a apartment and shi* for yall and u already got pregnant b y them and they jus leave u like dam* 🙁 That shii hurts bad
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Why do the inbetweeners sow noawing
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