Steph I miss you. I know things are awkward between us right now. We sit 20 feet away from each other at work. Your new man is worried about you being around me – the jealous prick. I miss you, my soul vibrates at your name. We are driving each other crazy because I know we still have feelings for each other and were pretending that we dont. 

You have no idea that I know you actually cheated with him before breaking it off with me. You are telling friends we were not actually together – but the things you told mw over the last two years say otherwise. 3 months ago you said I was the healthiest relationship you ever had. I hate the disrespect of me and what we shared. A month and a half later you broke my heart like no woman ever has. 

You say our age difference never mattered – but I’m not sure thats true.

Your new guy is a controlling prick with a history of cheating and monkey branching. He’s going to break your heart. He’s going to undo so much of the progress you have made for yourself in the last two years with me. That’s going to kill me watch. Everyone around you sees it but you.

I’ve seen your spiral the last few weeks – powerless to help you. I cant help but wonder if its in part because you feel what you threw away with me. You made me feel like I never mattered – you are telling yourself you never mattered to me. We both know thats not true. 

You are more worried about what others will think and feel than you are about what you (or I think and feel). You are letting that fear make your decisions for you. I fear one day you will come to regret all that. 

Part of me thinks I should hate you. I know your past and your struggles so I just cant. 

I cant help but to believe the Sun will one day shine upon us together – better than before. I feel in my bones that there is more to be written in the book of us. For right now I have to let you go – as much as it pains me. I’ll always be here for you – but apparently you need to live more of your life before its our time again. 

And maybe those days never come. Love does not always conquer all. If thats the case ill chose to remember the best parts of us. The epic parts that meant such much to both of us. 

You brought joy and light to my life during the dark time of the pandemic. You got me through it. For that I’ll always be greatful.

For now I will see you everyday – but I’ll be dreaming of a time when we meet again. 

Daddy