And I thought about you again. Without realizing it, you took my peace of mind.
I hate having you on my mind. I wonder why my memory plays such tricks on me. But it may be because I never dared to tell you that even though you took care of yourself and tried to prevent me from getting pregnant, it happened. When I heard the news, I thought of my mother and how I would respond to all her questions. The worst thing was remembering how our last meeting was, and I felt so humiliated and dirty that cowardice and pain pushed me to give up the most beautiful something a woman can have. Now that I am a mother and see my daughters and my son, I think about what my baby would look like, and I ask God and my baby for forgiveness. I thanked you for taking care of me because I didn’t get pregnant, but it was all a Big Lie. My being screams and screams for that pain that I lived alone, and I continue to live because I don’t dare to tell anyone.
Andy, I hate myself for loving you blindly. For closing your eyes and wanting to hear your voice.
I want to erase that stage of my life, but looking around me, I realize that my life would not be what it is today.
I paid and continued to pay a very high price for having set eyes on someone out of my league.