Billy, it has been about 14 years since I last saw or spoke to you. For the last 10 years, I have lived an honest and meaningful life, though it is not lost on me the destruction and hurt I brought into the lives of so many. I have been given the opportunity to make amends to just about everyone… except one. I have been carrying around an apology that I’m unable to deliver. The weight of that has been crippling. My heart is broken knowing what I’ve done and knowing that I just haven’t had the opportunity to simply say I’m sorry.

You may think that you never knew the real me, yet you let me get close enough to you to know your heart and to know the real you, and I believe that person would give me a chance to apologize. I believe you would give anyone that chance. I cared for you so deeply, that I refuse to let the hurt I caused you just exist in the world with no closure.

My actions made me a very hard person to love. Back then, I would’ve deserved none of this. I deserved nothing. But since then, I’ve worked hard to put so much good into the world, to live selflessly and serve others. Let me make things right. Please allow me the ability to take responsibility and accountability for all the ways in which I hurt you.

No matter what you decide, I will continue my work of speaking to young people and those who have sold their soul to drugs and alcohol, but I would love nothing more than to be able to tell them that there is hope for them all, that they can turn things around, be truly happy, and most importantly, be forgiven. I have waited over ten years to ask you this, and the passing of time has not made me want it any less. So, would it be okay for me to talk to you?