Today, I woke up in a perfectly made bed. Nobody snored in the middle of the night to wake me up, pulled on the sheets away from me, and I missed the imperfection of that. I get ready to go to work with the heaviness in my heart, no tears; they don’t come up. I am getting used to the new reality of being alone after 2.5 years relationship . No goodbye kiss before work. I looked at the kitchen window and remembered last summer, more chest pain, no tears. How has it been almost a month? I know I broke up with him and immediately regretted doing it, maybe because I was afraid of this. But now that you do not want to talk to me, it feels like a punishment. You want your space, and I’m honoring it, but how could you take the risk of losing me if you say you love me? I look at the window, and I don’t feel like yesterday, excited for better things to come my way, I look at the window and wonder how am I going to do summer without you? My eyes feel heavy. I need to go to work. I did not cry yesterday, but today, I cry while I write this. And maybe tomorrow would be different. Today, I miss you. Today and I cry.