Well this came out of nowhere. Well not completely out of nowhere, I knew something was weird that weekend you were gone with your friends and not with me. I thought not insisting on joining you in your new friends from work you would be more likely to make some friends that we could have separately and we would also have friends that we had together.
I knew you were having trouble with things, lots of things in fact. Work, family, and such, but I never would have thought that you would ask me to leave your time forever. I know things between us started rough and I am sorry it started that way, but 3 years later I thought we had got through most of that and were well on our way to a long, happy relationship together. I wanted to marry you so badly. I wanted to grow old with you so badly. I wanted to enjoy life’s adventures together. I wanted to raise our puppy and eventually children with you.
I knew from the moment I met you that you were someone really special, and I screwed up when I was trying to get to you, but when we finally got together, I thought I had the world in my hands. Making the transition out of the military and being 6 months unemployed took its toll on me, I gained weight, I became complacent because I didn’t have money, I couldn’t buy new clothes to make myself more stylish. These were all things that once I started work would have changed if you would have given us a little more time.
You left me when I was at the bottom and I don’t understand why. You were there for me and I was there for you through all the crap we put up with, but one day you decided that was enough, its over. What happened to your love? Why did you stop loving me? I don’t understand where I went wrong and I want to so badly.
Each morning I wake is like a terrible nightmare. I dream every day that we have got back together and you, me and our Yorkie are happy and at home or off on an adventure across the east coast. And then I realize you are gone. There are no messages on my phone from you, no “I love yous” from the night before. Nothing. Its all gone. You are gone. My best friend is gone. My puppy is gone. My home is gone.
I am trying to pick up the pieces, its hard, this breakup hurts a lot. You say you want to be friends in the future, I don’t think that will happen. I don’t know if I will ever stop loving you and I am pretty sure I could never just be friends with you.
I am going to continue with my life. When I eventually move back to the east coast, I am going to start my new job, work my butt off and get in shape. I am going to use this time healing my broken heart to make myself better, stronger and happier. The door will always be open for you Ally. I don’t think I will ever close that part of my hear that you occupy. I hope you will give us a shot again to start a new relationship in the future. I am not going to wait, but please contact me if you ever feel like starting again. I miss you so much. I love you so much. You mean the world to me and I hope the world brings us back together some day.
I love you Ally, always have, always will.