Today I write a letter to an invisible recipient. Although there was no closure or a final “goodbye” today I write my wishes to you. Primero, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate what we have become or what we had, I hate the way we left it. I hate that in the blink of an eye, everything can change.
When you look back on it, it sucks that you gave that person more then they could ever give you. Maybe its the kindness I try to spread I thought the more I gave, the more I cared, the more I loved, that you would start to do the same, feel the same, give the same. Sadly, that’s not always how it works out, you can give someone your entire heart and get nothing in return. Yo se que no eramos perfectos pero juntos nos complimentamos. Las promesas y secretos que te dije eran verdaderos y aunque no estemos juntos sigeran siendo promesas y secretos que quedarn asi. Porque esos secretos te los dije y me los dijiestes en los momentos mas vonorables de tu vida. Tus secretos te prometos estan seguros conmigo. It sucks that people can ruin future trust in relationships because of their past making it harder for the person to see a person that truly cares about them.
Aunque, the worst part of ending things is all the feelings attached to it, the way I’ll never be able to look at some things the same. When things end that person takes a piece of you with them regardless if they “loved” you or not, and they will always have that piece. You decided to share a part of your life with them, and they did the same. No matter if you delete the pictures, the relationship status on social media, the endless nights of conversation on the couch, car, phone, laughs, you can’t delete what you had, the feelings you held. I need to move on, it is not fair to hold onto something that is never going to happen.
So I am not mad at you for never loving me the way I loved you. Gracias por el tiempo, desvelos, risas y lecciones. To be honest I do not think you ever forget your first true love but you learn to live with that history. I pray for those I care about every night and I pray for you. But to the women you decide to love eventually, I hope she makes you insanely happy. I hope you look at her the way you looked at me. I hope when she smiles you smile back with that cheesy smile of yours. I hope when you lay in bed you see a future with her and I hope she does the same. I hope she encourage you and you encourage her. Most importantly I hope you realize that there are women out there truly love you for you and want the best for you. It is just up to you to decide. I hope you learn to love what I loved about you. This is my wish, what I want for you, because you deserve it.
La mujer que te amo primero