Letting you go seems impossible , after five years you would think I’d have moved on already but you’re still in my everyday thoughts. Maybe it’s not you I miss , maybe it’s the love we shared for one another. We’re so inseparable and I was for sure you were the one. I fell in love with you so fast and so deep. It was like a fairy tale. I have hurt you in more ways than one and which I don’t deserve you. Eight months ago my grandmother passed away at the time I had another man who let me cry on his shoulders and in that very moment I cried ever harder because I wished it was you who held my head while I cried. I wanted you to tell me everything was going to be okay. After a month or two of losing my grandma I fell into a bad place and met a few people who showed me how to take away the pain. That’s when I first felt the burning of alcohol down my throat and learn how to sniff the powder into my left nose. Soon after the withdraws took over me and my body. I was weak wishing you were there to heal me. I don’t know why but being high made me happy. I had forgotten about my depression and my miserable life without you. I forgot what life was like without you and it was hard for me to move on from the mazing love we had. I will always remember the amazing love we shared. You will forever and always hold a place in my heart. And I will always love you.
An open letter to my first love