I hate you, I love you

I hate you, I love you

I hate you, I love you

LTME-postDear Stephen,

You first asked me out when I was 14 and you were 17. I declined because the word around the county was that you were rude, mean, and threw girls away after the first time you had sex with them. When I was 17 myself I had forgotten about these rumors and you asked me for the second time for me to be your girlfriend and I accepted. I really wish I could go back in time and reject you now.

You were abusive to me and you never apologized for what you did because you claim it didn’t happen. You would yell at me for trivial things like me checking to see if the parking brake was not on while I drove. You would tell me that I needed to dress better. That I needed to paint my finger nails. You would compare me to other girls to make me jealous and get angry when I didn’t. I lost my virginity to you, but you told me I was lying. That because I didn’t bleed, I must have had sex before. You got mad that I skipped a year of school and was in college before I even graduated high school instead of being proud of me. You told me you didn’t want me to be a lawyer and that I should be a kindergarten teacher instead. When I told you I was molested as a child you said I was looking for attention and was making things up. You told me the only thing you wanted from me was sex and if you didn’t get it you were going to leave.

After you broke up with me you asked if I wanted to come and get my stuff from your house. Little did I know that my stuff wasn’t actually there and that you made a bomb and blew it up. When I went to your place you raped me until I bled and told me that I must have wanted sex because I came over. You told me I deserved to be raped. And I began to believe it.

A year after we broke up you posted my underaged nude photos to a porn site. My current boyfriend, who is loving and extremely considerate saw them and got them removed.

Although I have always wanted to be a lawyer dating you has made me want to specifically deal with domestic abuse.

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