… and after the years of problems, counseling, yelling, discussions, hang-ups, gaslighting, l’ll stop there, I sent you a letter describing these things and you dismissed my response as a personal attack. You were wrong. I don’t care about any of those things enough to attack you with them. You will never “hang up” (dating myself) the phone on me again.
I left because I looked out six months and asked myself a question, Will this be better in six months? And my answer was, “No,” it would not have been better in six months, and I thought whatever did happen would be better than that. I can’t enjoy a vacation with you.
When I moved out I cried deliriously for 20 minutes before I left the house, but by the time I got to my destination I was fine. I laid down on my bed and I felt a great sense of relief. It was over. All the problems I had with you were gone. They were just gone. You make drinking margaritas stressful.
You see, I have problems now, but they are all different problems. All the problems I had with you, they were with you, and now that I don’t have a relationship with you, other than what I have to for my kids’ sake, those problems are gone. They are not a part of me. They never were. I can take a walk now without anyone yelling at me as I walk out the door.
I knew you would never stop. You are incapable of self-reflection. You exhale anxiety. I let go of who I was to make our relationship work and it was never enough. You had it all and it wasn’t enough. I haven’t thought of our problems in any serious sense since the day I left. Don’t get out of your chair, I’ll get it.