Well….I wish I told you how much I really, truly loved making fun of ykiu behind your back. Calling you fat. A pig. Sick. Slimy. Gross. Not a man nor woman. Disgusting. Absolutely vile. Get the point?

My new life is so amazing…I have this super sexy boyfriend who’s actually strong! Not a weakling like you. He has manliness, you have nothing. Have fun with your whores, I’m livin’ a new life not regretting leaving you behind.

Sure, it took getting rid of my old closest friend, but it was sure as hell worth it for my new bestie, and my sister!

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huss,

You were good at being bad. So good, in fact, that you fooled me well.

You had me believing that you loved me so much, so I married you and had your daughter.

The day she was born was one of the happiest days of my life – however it was also the end of us…

That ice made you as cold as ice. I was in shock at first, God knows I held on, you cheated on me with so many and still I remained faithful to you. My love was true…

Six years we have spent together, I believe that someone always loves more. I also believe that you never loved me you are just a trickster.

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You know on September 14, 2012 when you so eloquently dumped me for deciding to be abstinent, you really broke my heart. Almost as much as catching an STD and trying to convince me that I gave it to you, cheating our WHOLE relationship, beating me, calling once a month, and forgetting to inform me I was a booty call. You know Kevin, I actually loved you, sadly more than I loved myself.
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Emily,

Sending you this letter is taking an incredible risk, as what I say here may jade you further against me. However, I have not been forthcoming about where I have been over the past months, and honesty is the only way this is going to work. I do intend to write this seriously but the truth is sometimes best when, as Al Franken once noted, it is tinged with jokes.

I believe, strongly, that we can be friends. Given a forward mindset, a good sense of humor, and a solid sense of self, we can both become  incredible people. My belief in who you could become, after all, was one of the primary reasons I continued to be with you even when I doubted my utmost. I believe you can become the fantastic, assertive, self-defined woman you seek to be. In retrospect, I see that you have always fought to define yourself separate of others. You recognize your own ability to “get lost” in another, a sort of self awareness that is truly rare. God, I sound like Dumbledore. In short, doubt not that my trust or belief in you has changed. You are ultimately someone I will always consider a friend.

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Dear V,

I should have broken up with you a year ago. But better late than never. Thank God you aren’t a part of my life anymore, dragging me down. I am happy and free.

When you lied to me, I should have ended it then. But I was too scared of being without you. When you lied to me so many times after that, you thought they were minor issues, things I didn’t need to know. But I found out. I stayed with you, hoping you would get your life together. I remained honest with you, until the end. Once I stopped being honest with you, it didn’t matter anymore because we were already finished by then.
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Dear You,

We are always like this, arguing about nonsense things. I wish you’d grow and mature like a real man. Be more patient and caring for your next girl. Not every girl will treat you the way you like them to act around you. Sometimes, look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re really treating your girl right. I am letting you go. Go and find other girls who can cook, can be with you when you want them to, can talk to you on the phone for hours, and can be more patient with you. I don’t think I can handle this anymore. I am the girl. You are the guy.

K

OH my god, you stupid douche bag.

Seriously?! Wtf dude? You lying piece of scumbag, bat shit.

I am pissed at you and want to hurt you, but  it doesn’t just stop there.

Here is why you are an idiot why it would have never worked between us:

1. Your crap, crap, crap, oh so crap fashion sense. Homeless people dress better then you.

2. You’re a liar and a cheater. Kissing other girls, found you on dating websites.

3. You’re 30, without a full drivers license. You have no car.

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Dear Troy,

We met on the Internet and the first three weeks were bliss but then you changed! You disappeared for two months, then you came back again with no explanation or reasons as to why you left. Everyone deserves a second chance and giving you that has changed my life. My son has finally arrived. The son that you repeatedly said you wanted nothing to do with - and that the only place you would take me is an abortion clinic. Your loss. My son is adorable and loved by everyone who is a part of his life. We’ve tried to contact you – as required by Births Deaths & Marriages – to give you a chance to be part of his life. You chose not to even answer the texts or phone calls. Which really shows us what sort of person you are and that we are better of without you. Good riddence to bad rubbish…

Dear Asshole,

Nothing more beautiful than seeing you kiss your new girl with the same mouth you ate it with. Hey, can you ask her how I taste? Well, you were a no good, lying, cheater. I’m very lucky to be away from you. How dare you cheat on me for our entire relationship. How dare you lie to me when I asked who she was, you always said “she’s nobody”. Now you date her… Well you were right. She is a nobody and she is irrelevant.

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Dear Ex,

This is a letter I have been needing to write for such a long time and I’m hoping that once its completed, that I will never again have to think about you ever. I need to get this off my chest and my only regret is that I can’t send it to you. If I was to send it to you, I would have to deal with your winger, whining and pathetic self.

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Dear Allan, thank you so much for dumping me, and allowing me to get on with my life. I never had the nerve to tell you the only thing that kept me with you was pity, and that you killed my love with slyness, cheating and lying. Also you were pretty bloody useless in bed. Within two hours of collecting my stuff from your pig sty » Read the rest of this entry «

M.O

I just want to say thank you. Thank you for finally ending something I didn’t have the guts to end. I knew long before things come to a head that you were not my perfect guy, I knew I needed to do something but my love for you kept you there.

You did something that I couldn’t overlook, you broke my heart and my soul and those of my children.

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We were together just shy of 9 years. There have been some good times and then most often bad/horrible times. I did truly love you and we had our lives planned out. We had purchased land and almost signed for a house to be built. I was consumed by you and your family, I had no life of my own. I fell into depression, but you didn’t care, coz it was all my fault. You never once asked how I was feeling, it was always about you.

Then I finally had the guts to stand up for myself and stop letting you walk all over me. That’s when you really became nasty, hateful and narcissistic. I realised that I really don’t deserve to be treated the way you have treated me for the past 9 years.

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Two years ago I would’ve been on my knees BEGGING you to stay but I’ve grown as a person. I won’t ever stoop down to that level like you did. Just so you know I had the opportunity to cheat on you countless times unlike you who took every opportunity to do so. I also had the chance to sleep with your best mates, wow the things they said to me, you’d be surprised who your real mates are. Lol looks like you don’t have any yourself. Also fun trivia: I know a lot of people and gossip spirals back to me loser. I know you said things to people like “you fucked up, want me back, I look hotter now lol yes I won. I also heard how shit your life went after you dumped me -I think you forgot I was your means of support financially? Funny I had all the connections to parties, money, lifts and support yet you cut those ties.

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It’s been two years since we broke up, which I suppose makes it about two years and a month since you started sleeping with your next boyfriend, and thinking about you still makes me angry. When you eventually told me about him I was angry because you’d betrayed me, but what made it worse was feeling like I’d somehow driven you to it by making mistakes or just not being good enough for you. The fact that you’d left me for a noisy man-child with a drinking problem did very little for my self-esteem. It used to keep me up at night thinking about how I’d never have anyone as amazing as you again, when really I should have worked out that cheating on a long-term boyfriend who loves you does not make you amazing. It makes you a needy bitch, just as greedy for sex and attention as ever. » Read the rest of this entry «