How dumb am I?

How dumb am I?

How dumb am I?

Dear Paul

Just found out on Facebook this week that you are “in a relationship”. Of course, you haven’t had the decency to tell me or the children.

What upsets me is that you seem to think that now you are safely ensconced in new love that you can treat me like some piece of shit that you have trodden in.

Wasn’t it only a fortnight ago that ou wanted me to come over and spend an evening at your place with you and the kids. We had a lovely conversation, enjoyed our dinner, and had a nice time. Not three days later you have transformed yourself into Mr Angry again and can’t carry on a civil discussion with me.

Is it because you feel guilty about the fact that you still enjoy my company but feel that I have to be painted as an evil character for the sake of your new girlfriend? I know that you are telling her that I cause dramas in your life. You and I both know that is not true but maybe you can’t deal with the fact that you still like me despite me getting out of the relationship.

It is time for you to release all of your anger and let me move on without feeling the need to continue punishing me for whatever wrongs you perceive have been done to you.

Remember why I asked you to leave the relationship. I can assure you that it wasn’t an easy decision with a four year old and six month old. I asked you to leave because you were carrying on some secret text relationship with that woman from work and refused to make yourself available emotionally or physically to me. I had no option.

Yes, it still saddens me that we couldn’t work it out. On the surface we should have had no problems at all. Of course I wish we were still together and when you behave as you did two weeks ago when I came over to your place I get even more sad. But, the fact remains that you are dishonest with yourself, first and foremost, and completely dishonest with me. The lies that I have discovered since we broke up are incomprehensible.

Call me dumb for having some tiny part of my being still hoping that we will end up together. After all the pain you have caused, emotional, financial and physical, I must be completely mental. Actually, I am! Psychiatrist says I need to find a new bloke and assures me that they are all lying arseholes like you (his words). I can only hope that this happens sooner rather than later.

I hope that one day you can admit to yourself that I am not the evil person you insist upon telling everyone I am. I hope that your new girlfriend sees our lies about me as what they are and realizes one day she will be the butt of the lies. Just like your first wife was when I heard all the stories about her.

Don’t really have any part of me wanting you back – I actually want a man who is not a sociopath and is capable of loving me for the warm caring person that I know I am.


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