I know you’re probably never going to read this. I just wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry for every stupid thing that I put you through.
My life is a mess right now. And you don’t deserve to be put into it. I really wish that you never met me. Perhaps my life would be different, and I know that yours would. Yours would be full of happiness and laughter like it was before I came and fucked everything up.
I’m sorry for the way I treated you, just because my life is shit. I feel like our relationship went downhill when my father passed away. I don’t know who I am since that day.
I will never know… and if I can’t find peace with myself over this issue, then I will never spend another day happy again.
I know that’s no excuse for the way I’ve acted. I don’t know what to tell you… I’m losing my mind and I don’t want to. I’m trying to hold on. So many mixed emotions are coming through. I want you to take me back, but I don’t want to continue to hold you back. I’m self conflicted and it hurts.
I know it’s just best for me to get lost and let you do your thing. I’m sorry for everything. :'(