To be reborn, you first have to die

To be reborn, you first have to die

To be reborn, you first have to die

Dear Jeremy,

Do you remember when I asked you if you were over your ex? And you assured me you were and that I wasn’t a rebound? I do. But apparently you forgot somewhere along the line of texting her and telling her I was nothing to you, while telling me that you were in love with me. When I finally confronted you with the text messages I found, while yes it was wrong to look in your phone, you had the audacity to be angry I looked in your phone while your deceit was staring you straight in the face. Somehow, you think that the way you acted is all justified because you admit to being depressed. Be a man, take responsibility for your own actions. Even as a pyschology graduate, I know that you don’t lie to one person and then somehow have the capacity to care for another while depressed, but you are obviously mentally ill in one way or another. No decent, rational, or caring human being can do something like that to another person and still try to make that person feel guilty for looking at your phone or wanting to be with you! Yes, you said sorry, but followed it with excuse after excuse. If you were really and truly sorry for what you did, you would say just that. That you were sorry you hurt me. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe you trying to rationalize away all the hurt you caused me helps you to sleep at night, but it will never make you a better person. The saddest thing is, I never did anything but care for you and love you and put my pride on the line, even offering to befriend your ex so you could keep her “friendship”, which meant so much to you, in your life. Do you know how many women would do that? I did, because I really did love and care for you. I tried to help pull you out of your depression and make you happy and all you ever did was demean me to your ex. How do I deserve that? How can you do that? I am sorry I ever wanted anything from you at all. I am sorry I loved you and believed you. I’m sorry my heart still aches and breaks when I think about you, both the good and the bad. They way you used to look at me in the beginning like I was the best thing you had ever seen. The way you told me I was your favorite person and that you don’t say it enough, only two days before you broke my heart. And yes I fought for you, because you said you loved me! Fighting to have you in my life is not guilting you, it’s fighting for something I believed was real, but that you didn’t have the emotional capacity to do because you were so depressed. I wanted to be the good thing in your life and support you and you threw it all away. Still, you try to blame it on me. There is no such thing as guilting someone to stay in a relationship. If you didn’t want it, be a man and say that. And even after all of this, I am trying to forgive you because no one in their right and sound mind could do this to a person. I hope you get the help that you need and I also hope that one day you realize the incredible person you lost by your greed and deceit.


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