I loved you the moment I met you, September 2008.
We became great friends. I fell hard, but you had a girlfriend and lived two hours away and I lived for every Saturday when we would see each other. I was as in love as someone can be without being loved in return.
My 18th birthday. You came to my Harry Potter party dressed as Dobby and you’d written a song about me. It included all of our personal jokes, and my favourite line was “You’d be the perfect girl if you fixed your West Coast accent”. You played it to me with your guitar, and we kissed. That night we got together for the first time. But what about that other girl I’ve seen you with sometimes? She’s “nothing”.
So no-one knew about us. We lived on opposites sides of the country and knew it wouldn’t work as a serious thing yet. We would become official in the summer, when you moved to my city for University.
I met your parents. I stayed at your house and everything was lovely. This was the beginning.
I haven’t heard from you since.
You won’t return my messages.
We start University together. You act like we saw each other yesterday and I stupidly think we can start where we left off. We spend a few nights together that first week.
The second week, you sleep with someone else. I find out and am freaked out. Gossip spreads that I’m “bitching about you two” and saying horrible things, and you make me feel incredibly guilty for how this has gotten out of hand. I beg forgiveness from both of you.
That girl who is nothing to you? She messaged me to tell me she was sleeping with you from January to July, and you got together with her the day I met you parents and stayed the night with you. She only just found out about us and feels terrible.
I feel terrible.
I hate you.
I haven’t spoken to you since December 2011. We see each other every day and I can’t bear to look at you. I don’t think you even know that I found out about you and the other girl.
At first I was hurt that you “cheated” on me and that you lied to me, but I’m over that now. It took time. But I don’t care that you probably didn’t even like me in the first place and that’s really why we were never officially together. I don’t care that you broke my heart.
I hate you because you thought that was an acceptable thing to do to one of your friends. We were friends first, and you were already sleeping with this other girl, so you knew exactly what you were doing. That’s a fucking horrible thing to do to your friend. You do not deserve the friends you still have.
We’re in our second year of Uni and you have a massive reputation. You’ve hurt other girls and they come to me for help. I may as well form a support group for women you’ve screwed over.
It’s funny that I spent years infatuated by you, and now our (coincidentally) mutual friends at Uni have never seen us together and can’t even imagine us ever being friends. I have the respect to stay out of your way. Please have the respect to never treat your/my friends like that again.