Dear AL,
You should know that I realize how much I hurt you with my words over the past year. The more I think about it, the more I see how judgmental and unsupportive I really was. You’ve done nothing but become a dedicated and loving mother. You truly are a wonderful woman and I’m so sorry I could not just accept that.
We had a passionate and tumultuous relationship and we really hurt each other when we should have just let go. I want to apologize for being a coward when I needed to be strong. You know I was really afraid- and I have some things to work on within myself. Thank you for allowing me to realize those issues. I learned more from you than you can ever know.
I will miss you for a long time. I miss your carefree attitude, your limitless compassion, your little Amy dance, lunch dates, holding you from behind, and watching mahna mahna on your phone. Most of all I just miss us – even though we could never really get into a healthy pattern. I really took a lot of our time together for granted when I should have just enjoyed it because what we had, despite the battles, was unique. I’m so sorry for everything I ever said or did that caused you pain. Farewell my friend, my pain, my love. May you find all the happiness in the world- I will be rooting for you always.
Love,
NJ
Ugh. Such bullshit.