You forced me to lose you to another man. You should’ve learned more about your husband before trying that.

April 22nd 8:39 pm I just saw you out of the corner of my eye walk into my gym. You were wearing your blue hoody and black yoga pants with pink waist band. My heart stopped. I turned my head. It wasn’t you. My heart sank.

I believe you are a good person. Very few people intentionally do wrong. You’re not a person who does. I know you have your rational for your actions and the way you treated me. However, if you were to put yourself on the outside looking in I don’t believe you would view all you’ve done as admirable.

I hate that I have so many memories you don’t remember.

Making a move alone that I had always planned to make with you tore at my soul. Driving through all the places I couldn’t wait to show you from when I lived here without you haunts me.

I read a journal entry of yours I found recently. It was from the summer after my dad died. If you had shared those with me then, if I had known the love you had for me, that someone cared, it might have saved me from the darkness I was in. Would have saved our marriage. Why did you keep it in? Why didn’t you have me read what you wrote?

I wish you had shared yourself with me early in our marriage before my dad died. If I had known what you struggled with I wouldn’t have expected any support from you. You presented yourself as an emotionally functional strong person. That made me assume you just didnt want to be there for me.

I called into work twice while your dad was in the hospital, once I sat in the parking lot for hours waiting for you to ask for me. Another time I made it all the way up to the 4th floor and sat hoping you would ask for me. You never asked for me. I even offered to bring food and you told me no. Then you claim I wasn’t there for you.

All the times I asked you to withdraw the divorce when we would get back together and you never did. You lied so much. Was it always your plan to end it? Was I just a stepping stone?

Do you tell him you love him more then anyone you ever have like you always told me?

Do you really feel good about your new relationship having a foundation of lies? Has that worked well for you before? If you admitted the truth would he still want you?

Did I mean so little to you that it was only a month before you were ready to be married to someone else?

Is that a coping mechanism? Is it survival? Have you always gone from man to man? Was there not really the gap between me and the person before me you claimed there was? Was I lied to just like you lied to kc and now your fiancé?

Do you sincerely feel that we are not the love of each others lives? Was that our problem did I truly love you more then you did me?

Did the last nights we spent together really mean nothing to you? Why couldn’t you tell me it would be our last so I could’ve savored it?

Why don’t you care about our vows? Or the Christian belief in marriage?
Why didnt I deserve a warning before you got into a serious relationship?
Why did you break so many promises?
Why did you assure me you wouldn’t do something that you didn’t have a problem doing?
Why didn’t you tell me when I came to you that there was already someone else?
Why don’t I deserve closure?
Why couldn’t you answer any of my questions?