Nothing can make you feel more deeply unnerved and overwhelmingly freed than the realisation you spent over thirteen months of your life having an intimate relationship with an emotionally defunct human vacuum. I could go on with an inspiring platitude about how I’m so much more #woman #blessed #grateful for my #freshstart and #nulyf but honestly, I’m just so embarrassed and ashamed that it took me over a year to completely understand the impact that dating a premium-grade parasitic sociopath had upon my health.

Your narcissism, self-absorption, pathological manipulation, destructive attitude and moral bankruptcy make American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman look like a petulant child bored in the RTA. With this in mind, I’ve had to substitute an inspiring Instagram upload of a Marilyn Monroe quote with a privately public announcement because I’m not sure if subtlety is your strong suit: The ‘ordeal’ that you helped put me through, albeit incredibly late – not been unacknowledged. So, from the bottom of my heart, I truly mean it when I say that I hope for everyone else’s sake you remain forever alone, you twat.